


Back to You

by lousywriter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Cheating, Divorce, Endgame, Established Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, F/F, Forgiveness, Getting Back Together, Marriage, Sanvers Endgame, Sanvers Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2020-10-12 12:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20564582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lousywriter/pseuds/lousywriter
Summary: Maggie wants to save the relationship but Alex is ready for divorce.





	1. Chapter 1

"You're kicking me out?"

"I'm sorry, Maggie. We can't be together"

Maggie took a deep breath and looked into her lover's eyes. Analyzing what she could have done that enables her wife to let her go just like that. Like worn-out clothing, she just remembered throwing away.

"I'll stay at Winn's. I'll come back tomorrow to get my things. Have a good night...Alex"

Maggie knows that it will come to this. She has seen this coming for a long time but she ignored the clues and tried to see the bright side of things between their marriage. She knew for a long time that Alex was seeing someone else and she was blindsided with her love for her wife.

And now it's coming and she can't do anything about it now.

She closed the door of their apartment and walked away. Hoping to ease the pain, searching for comfort, trying to walk away from the life she's used to. A life with her only love.

"Extra! Extra! Welcome to Extra!" she heard on the street and found a guy who's holding a box with rainbow painting on it, "Suit yourself. Be stress-free! Relieve your emotions. Ma'am, come here" the guy motioned at her. Confused, Maggie walked toward the guy and let herself indulge with what the guy has to say. There's a crowd around the guy so she wasn't sure if it's her he's referring to.

"Me?" she pointed to herself, "Do you know me?"

"I don't know you but can I call you Dimples? Because you're so cute with your dimples. Show me that smile" Maggie unbelievably smiled and the guy earned a woo from the crowd.

"Okay, you can call me that" Maggie chuckled at the memory of Alex poking her dimples to wake her up, pinching her cheek every moment she gets just to remind her wife how lovely she is with her dimples.

"I see you're carrying heavy baggage right now. I wanna help you for just a minute to forget. Sooth your mind, come on everybody close your eyes. Take the box and 3...2...1...Snap!"

When Maggie opened her eyes. She was holding a bouquet of roses and everyone around her. 

"Now, take the flowers to your loved ones and be gone. Have a good night" and suddenly, the guy was gone.

Maggie thought of coming home to Alex and talking about their issue one more time to see if she can change her mind and be back together again.

She tried calling Alex many times but she was not answering. She wants to see if Alex is still awake at this hour because she knows that Alex sleeps before 10 PM.

As soon as she was at the door of their apartment, she heard a laugh-Alex's laugh. Maybe she's watching a movie to stay up all night.

"Al, are you sure she's not coming back?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. She went to a friend's house, she'll come back tomorrow to get her things" Maggie's heart was breaking to pieces. She didn't realize she was holding the flowers too tight. It was Alex's voice and another voice she didn't recognize.

"So, let's sleep now and wake up early so she wouldn't see me because I don't want your wife to ruin my face. I'm so much prettier than her. I love you, Alex"

Maggie was waiting for a reply from Alex. Her eyes welling up with tears. Her heart racing, feeling every break of it. She wanted to run, she wanted to storm in but all she wanted to do was to hear Alex's reply to see where she stands.

"Yeah. You too, Raine" she didn't hear any other word because it was all giggle and the sound of two people making out. She left the bouquet at the door. She was sick to her stomach, she ran as far away as possible from that heartache and found herself on the street again.

"Hey, Miss! Look out!"

Maggie saw the blinding light and she was stuck on her feet. She couldn't move, her muscles were suddenly numb. If this is her last moment in life, she hopes that what flashes before her eyes is Alex, their life, their happy life.

"Watch out!"

The car hit her and she saw Alex, their memories together, her smile, her laugh, everything about her wife. She smiled for the last time and everything went black.

***

"Oh my God! She's awake! Call the doctor!" it was Winn who ordered the nurse. Maggie grinned at her friend. She was hoping for someone but she didn't very much get her hopes up.

After checking Maggie's condition. The doctor told Winn about Maggie's needs and medicines and left them.

Winn was pacing, scratching the back of his head and looked at Maggie who just snickered at her friend.

"I mean, what were you thinking? Did your feet got numbed and you forgot to run to the other side? You could have died!" Winn asserted and went to Maggie's side.

"I'm fine. The doctor said I was fine. Calm your ass down. Come on, feed me, servant"

Maggie suffered a scratch, a bruised collar bone, a suture in her forehead, and her right arm is broken. Her legs work fine and she should be able to get out in a week or two.

"Does Alex know?" Winn asked, giving water to Maggie, "I know it's been a while since we saw you together but does she know what happened to you?"

"She is in my emergency contact, also you, Kara and Lena. I hope she gets the message"   
Maggie felt hopeless. No injury could fix their marriage and she knows it. Even if she tries to get back to Alex, the latter one have made up her mind about them. She heard her last night that's why she ran away and got into an accident.

"Oh, Maggie. I think they didn't call her. It was just me because they think I'm your husband. I'm the only guy in your emergency contact" Winn was trying to lighten the mood and Maggie just flashed her smile but deep down she's hurting. She was damaged and only Alex could heal it.

"Winn, am I not enough?" she asked, Winn doesn't really know how to answer the question because he knows Maggie has done enough for their relationship to survive. She endured every pain the moment she learned of Alex cheating. She didn't want to confront her because it would break Alex, it would break them both. She suffered in silence because she doesn't want to hurt Alex.

"I'm gonna call Alex"

"Winn, no"

"I have to. Who's gonna take care of you?"

"Just get me my things and tell her you want me in your adventure. I'm just gonna stay at your place until I'm healed. Please, Winn"

Winn half-heartedly agreed to his friend's request, knowing Maggie, she will do everything to go her own way.

***

Alex opened the door and was surprised to see Winn.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Babe, who's that?" a girl appeared behind Alex, "Oh. I gotta go" she said but Alex stopped her, Winn creased his eyebrow at the gesture.

"Maggie's staying for a week or two. I'm just gonna get her things. Don't mind me" Winn said, Alex just nod and made an entrance for Winn.

Winn went straight to where Alex and Maggie's bedroom was and arranged Maggie's things. He was hurt, annoyed, angry, furious even of what he just witnessed. Alex is her friend too but he just couldn't stand what Alex is doing right now.

He was startled when he saw Alex looking at him. He ignored her while trying to help fix Maggie's things.

"Is she okay?"

"Hmm?"

"Is Maggie okay?"

Winn snickered and looked at Alex. A sarcastic smile was written on his face. Wanting to ask if maybe she was joking. Thinking how could someone like Alex treat Maggie who loves her every single day of her life like some trash ready to be given to a garbage truck.

"Is she okay?" Winn repeated, Alex noticed the way Winn spoke, so she just nods and looked at the floor, "Why don't you ask yourself if she's okay? You think she's okay with this?"

"Winn, calm down"

"I'm calm. I have to go. Just, get back to what you're doing. I'll ask if she's okay because Alex" Winn trailed off, getting Maggie's back, walking toward the door, "No matter how many times you hurt her. She's always gonna say she's okay"

Winn shut the door behind and cried in his car. His favorite couple has taken some time off and he doesn't even know what went wrong. Alex is his friend, he loves her and he loves Maggie, too. He needs to be strong for Maggie.

***

It's been a week since Maggie got out of the hospital. She's doing fine but her arm is still broken and she's alone because Winn went on a business trip.

She was watching a movie when the doorbell rang. Her heart suddenly races, she was nervous of who might be outside, if it was a burglar, she's gonna end up with two broken arms.

She opened the door and was shocked to see Alex. It took a minute before she found her words and let Alex in.

"Hi"

"What happened to you?" a worried Alex asked, somehow, Maggie felt happy that Alex is concerned but she still felt pain, Alex touched her forehead and ushered her to sit on the couch, "What happened?"

"Nothing" Maggie answered and sit a few inches away from Alex, "Why are you here? You miss me already?" Maggie joked but the other was quiet. She reminded herself of the things she heard before her accident.

"Maggie" Alex started, Maggie missed the sound of her voice and the way she said her name still sends butterflies in her stomach, "I'm filing for divorce. I'm here to talk to you about it. I found an attorney and all I need is your signature"

Maggie chuckled, she was hurt but she chose to hide it. She composed herself, there's no other way she can change Alex's mind. She cleared her throat and tried so hard to keep her voice from breaking.

"Am I not enough?"

"Maggie, I'm sorry"

"Where did I go wrong, Alex? Tell me" Maggie couldn't take it anymore so she cried so hard, ignoring the pain in her arm, she must be dumb to think that Alex would let her fix their marriage, "What did I do?"

"Maggie"

"Where are the papers?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I just got home from work and I'm excited to post this update. I wanna thank you all so much for your comments and your insights regarding this story. I admit I don't know how to reply to all of you because those were the longest comments I've received in my entire writing (career?) I want you all to know that I heard you and I will make this a great story because of you all. Thank you again for your support. #SanversEndgame

Maggie and Alex sat opposite each other. Reading the divorce papers, pens on reach. Alex was busy with her phone and Maggie was staring at her, waiting. Alex didn't really answer her question a while ago.

"Do I need to sign these papers now?"

Alex was quiet, not listening to Maggie. Sending an angry message to someone.

"Alex"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing"

Maggie wanted to shout, wanted to beg Alex to stay, wanted her wife to see her but all she wanted was to see Alex happy, too. Even if that happiness means letting her go and signing these divorce papers.

She wanted to tell Alex to extend the deadline. She wanted her to see if she can be with her and help her realize that Alex still loves her. She wanted to make herself believe that this was all a joke, but she couldn't lie to herself. She knows it's the end and she's ready to give it up...for Alex.

There was a knock on the door that brought Alex back from texting. Maggie was confused because she knows Winn is not getting back until Friday.

"It's the attorney. I'll get the door" Alex said and Maggie just forgot how to breathe. She wanted to crumple and burn the paper but she can't do that.

"Good morning, Mrs. Sawyer," the attorney greeted, "I have an important thing to do but since you're angry, I'm here to help you. May I come in?"

Alex was annoyed at the sight of the attorney. The audacity to mock her like that. Maggie was even more annoyed that Alex gave Winn's address and hurried to see this breakup thing, no, the divorce.

"Maggie, this is Atty. Grace Sarmiento, Atty. this is my...Maggie, Maggie Sawyer" Alex introduced and Maggie just nod, they proceeded to their seats and the attorney was staring at Maggie.

"Am I too hot to be divorced at?" Maggie retorted, Alex scoffed and rolled her eyes, still annoyed at the attorney who seemed to be checking out Maggie, "hey?"

"Maggie Sawyer?" Grace asked, "You"

"Yes?" Maggie was confused, "Do...I...know you?"

"I'm sorry about the accident" Maggie's eyes went wide and she looked at Alex who was creasing her eyebrows.

"You were in an accident? Why didn't you tell me?" Alex's face seemed to worry about Maggie, "When was that?"

Maggie scoffed, not letting herself drown of Alex's sudden concern because in just about any moment now, they will be going their own way and they may not see each other again.

"I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me anymore, anyway" it was venom that Maggie uttered. She held her head high and looked at the two women staring at her. "So, attorney?"

"Yes. Business. I'm guessing you two have read the papers so I'm here to be a witness and get the papers done as soon as possible after you sign it"

Maggie reached for the pen that made Alex looked pale. She couldn't write with her broken arm but she tried clicking the pen with it. Grace noticed her winced so she went to Maggie and helped her.

"Here, let me help you" Grace offered and Maggie just smiled, she let her hold the pen with her left hand and Grace was attending to her., "If you're ready you can sign here"

"Sure thing" Maggie showed her dimples that made Grace looked away, "Alex?"

"Actually, I have to go. I'll see you" Alex hurriedly got up her seat and left the papers on the table. She opened the door and stood by there for a minute before finally leaving.

Maggie let go of the pen and looked at the ceiling, letting herself be numb, trying not to cry. Her tears smudged the writings on the paper and she remembered she was not alone in the room.

"Why didn't you say no?"

"Because I love her" Maggie answered the attorney who was fixing her stuff, "Hey, you said you have an important thing to do. You can go now. I'll see you when she comes back"

"Actually, I'm going here. I didn't realize the address was the same"

Maggie was confused so she let the attorney explained, who liked to be called Grace. Grace was the one in the car who hit Maggie, she brought Maggie to the hospital and called Winn, the only guy in her emergency contact. She processed the bill and promised Winn to visit when she's not busy to see if the woman she hit is still alive.

"So, I'm here. I guess, Winn didn't mention that"

"Yeah. He didn't"

"I'm sorry I didn't call Alex, I didn't know"

"It's fine. Won't change her mind"

Grace wiped Maggie's tears. She looked at her and saw how broken the woman was. She comforted her and offered her the handkerchief. Maggie was thankful for this stranger who happened to be Alex's contact attorney for their divorce. Life is so ironic, she thought.

"You know, I have sessions for someone like you. Someone who needs to accept. You'll know more when you get there" Grace rummaged through her bag and offered Maggie a calling card, "Friday and Saturday, you know the address. I'll see you, Maggie"

"Yeah. Okay, take care"

***

"Winn, are you sure this is the place?"

"Yup. 100% sure. Text me later"

Maggie got out of Winn's car, still in her arm sling. It has been a week since she encountered Grace and Alex about the divorce papers. Winn urges her to go to the sessions to help her heal until she's ready to sign the divorce papers. So, now here she is.

"Maggie, hey. Come in" Grace gladly welcomed Maggie and let her in. It was a cozy place, with seats and tables around, there are five people inside and Maggie just couldn't understand why and what is she doing.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be in here" Maggie said and walked out of the building. She's scared, terrified of what would happen if she ever gets to the session.

She took a stroll to breathe some air. She was walking to a cafe when she spotted two people dining in. It was Alex with another woman. They're deep into a conversation when Maggie decided to barge in.

"Alex, can we talk?" Maggie pleaded the two women were quiet, "Just...hear me out"

"Raine, you can go," Alex told the other woman who was angry but left anyway. Maggie sat opposite Alex, gathering her thoughts. Deciding what to ask, inquiring if she should beg again.

"How long have you known?" Alex asked, holding her mug of coffee, looking at Maggie who seemed surprised. Alex missed Maggie's head tilt, she smiled at the gesture.

"Since the day you decided not to wait for me, those nights of coming home and you weren't there. Those evenings of eating alone because you said you were out there eating with your office mates. Those nights I keep my trust because I know that you wouldn't lie to me----"

"I'm sorry, Maggie" Alex stopped Maggie, her heart constricting in pain, the guilt of what she's done to her wife, "I...you let me slip away"

Maggie scoff, mentally smacking herself about Alex's remarks. How could she ever do that?

"I let you slip away?" was all Maggie could ask, "Tell me how"

Alex couldn't answer because she knows no amount of explanation could justify what she has done. Nobody deserves to be cheated on and make them blame for it. 

"You were so busy" Alex started, "All you ever talk about is work. I never get it. All those times you were away, Raine was with me. She helped me, she was there when you're not. She made me feel like I'm needed, that my world doesn't revolve around you. It revolves around other people, too. She caught me"

Maggie was smitten at Alex's words. She can feel her heart crushing. Alex's words cut deep into her heart. It's like her world melted down and suddenly she can't stand on her own. Her mind was racing, trying to take in everything Alex has confessed.

She doesn't know what to say so she let her tears fall and think of how Alex was able to pin it on her. The nights she was working with some case are the nights she can't wait to go home to see her wife, only to find out that she was out. Those days at the headquarters where all she talks about is Alex, her wife, the love of her life.

"Maggie, this isn't about you. This is on me" Alex admitted, trying to hold Maggie's hand but the latter refused, "I...still care for you"

"Then why are you leaving?"

Alex has no definite answer. Maybe it was a wrong decision. Maybe she's making a mistake, hell yeah she's making a mistake.

"Alex!" Raine called, waiting for Alex. Maggie held Alex's hand.

"Alex, don't go" again, she pleaded, but no amount of begging could make Alex stay, "please"

"I'm sorry"

Maggie was left crying over the fact that Alex left her for someone who isn't her. Someone who held Alex when she was not there. Alex didn't realize the sacrifices Maggie has made just to go home to her. To make her feel loved, but all Alex saw was the worst part of it.

/Winn, can you pick me up now?/


	3. Chapter 3

Alex left Maggie in the cafe and followed Raine in her car. She doesn't know what she's doing. All she can feel is hurt, guilt, and pain from what she's done to Maggie.

"Al, come on" Raine was irritated, Alex obliged and fasten her seatbelt. She can't stand the look on Maggie's face, the damage that she caused her.

"Alex"

"Yeah?"

Raine pointed at the window, someone was looking at them. She opened the car window and was met with a small woman in a pixie cut. She was waving at Alex who seemed to be confused.

"Alex, you're Alex, right?"

"Yes, do I know you?"

"Here" the woman took out a box with sealed envelopes in different colors, "Maggie wanted to give this to you for a long time but I got lost. We have this charity game at the headquarters and we were tasked to do what our officers can not do. It's like gift giving but not really"

"Excuse me?" Raine interrupted, the woman's brow furrowed at her, "we're kind of in the middle of something"

"We all saw how Detective Sawyer writes a letter every time she gets and she's always blabbering how about she can't wait to see you and come home to you. That's all we can do because she was so busy solving the biggest case here in National City. I hope I could help. Have a nice day"

Alex was astounded at the reveal. The woman bid goodbye and Alex was sobbing. Raine started the engine, she drove toward her apartment. She was quiet, too for it's slowly coming back to her. Alex could never love her wholeheartedly. Always just a piece, some comforter when Alex needed her, but she's not ready to let Alex go. She'll do whatever it takes to get what she wants, to get Alex.

***

Maggie went to their apartment. Only to find it empty. The memories are slowly coming back to her. The laughter, the sorrow, the heartaches, all the emotions they built upon this house is slowly burning and turning to ashes.

She went to their bedroom. At least, Alex knows not to go to their bed with another person. She laughed at herself. She laughed at how stupid she was for letting Alex feel what she felt, she felt stupid for not being there when Alex needed her. She was always there, but Alex just couldn't see it.

She opened the closet and cried at the recollections of their petty fights on who's gonna wear each other's clothes. Sometimes, running around the apartment stealing what's already worn by the other. Removing each one by one until they were cuddled up in their comfy bed.

Maggie decided to watch TV. She wants to wait for Alex if she ever comes back. She wanted to have dinner with her and talk about things they already talked about. Teasing each other, ordering someone to do the dishes and make out in the middle of their dance.

Maggie took out her phone to send a text.

/I'm at our house. I'm cooking dinner. Please, come home/

Maggie knows how pathetic she looks like. She got up and started making dinner. Waiting for Alex to come home.

She woke up to someone shaking her. She opened her eyes and stared at someone she wished to see for a very long time.

"Lena"

"I'm here. You can cry on me" and that was all Maggie needed to let out all her frustrations, she cried and cried until it turns into a whimper and Lena's shirt was full of Maggie's tears.

Lena didn't talk for a while, she let Maggie do the talking and offered her some water. The woman doesn't even know what to do.

"Where's Kara?" Maggie asked, "Has she talked to Alex?"

"No. Kara's on a business trip with Clark. She doesn't know about any of this. We wanted you to fix it"

"But how? She's not talking to me. She's with that Raine girl"

Maggie told Lena from the beginning and how she ended up with an arm sling. She told Lena about Grace and Winn. She told her about the encounter and how she is waiting for Alex to come home.

"Maggie, it's late. Maybe she'll come around tomorrow"

Maggie just nods at her friend and asked her to eat the dinner she cooked.

***

Alex has been quiet since they got to Raine's apartment. She was holding the box given to her by Maggie's colleague and she couldn't even look at it. 

"Alex" Raine was clinging to Alex, trying to kiss her but Alex refused to. She was too busy thinking about what she's done and how the hell is she gonna get out of this one.

"No. I need to go. Where's my phone?" Raine didn't answer Alex and stormed out. Alex was trying to find her phone to call Maggie but she can't find it.

"Raine, come on. Give me my phone" she knocked at the door but it was quiet. Alex sighed, thinking of the box given to her.

"I'll stay tonight. I'll be in the couch" Alex was about to sit on the couch when she saw someone standing, looking at her. The woman was suddenly furious and ran toward where Alex is.

"Who are you?" Alex asked, but the woman punched her in the face, jumped on her, throwing slaps at her, "Raine!"

Raine immediately got out and released Alex from the woman's grip. Alex's face was full of scratch. She was looking at Raine and the other woman.

"She just barged in and jumped on me," Alex told Raine, "Who is she?"

The woman was about to attacked Alex again but Raine caught her. Raine couldn't even look at Alex.

"I fucking live here, you whore!"

"What?" was all Alex's reaction, "You have a girlfriend?"

"Tell her, Raine!" the woman was mad, if not for Raine holding her, she must have pulled Alex out of the apartment.

"Yeah, she's my girlfriend and she lives here. I'' ll call you, Al. Please, go now"

Raine gave Alex her phone which she abruptly snatched and gathered her things including the box. Alex was dumbfounded. She can't believe what's happening. She must have done a terrible thing to deserve this and she knows she deserved it.

She was crying in the taxi, reading Maggie's letters one by one. All in the letter was how she loves Alex every moment of her life, her laugh, her smile, all the bad jokes she's given and the clothes she's taken. The letter includes drawings from Maggie, sometimes comics of how they would act out if Maggie comes home after work.

Alex's work is office work that requires only 6 hours a day. She gets home and waits for Maggie but then she just couldn't take it anymore so she decided to go out with her colleague, to which Maggie agreed but they never thought it would end up like this.

"So, where do you wanna go?" the driver asked, "Bad break up?"

"No. I fucked up" Alex said, she didn't realize she was crying reading Maggie's letters. She fucked up, a heavy fucked up and she can't think clearly, she doesn't know what to say when she comes home to Maggie.

"Do you wanna go to your house?"

"No. I'll stay at a hotel. Thanks"

The driver obliged with Alex's request. After dropping her off, the driver made sure Alex was inside the hotel before leaving. Alex waved at the driver, mouthing thank you and checked in at a hotel near their apartment.

Her phone buzzed and Raine was calling. She canceled every call and turned off her phone. She fixes herself and lies on the bed. Missing Maggie, sobbing on the pillow and thinking how stupid she was to get an attorney for their divorce.

She's not ready to leave Maggie. She doesn't know what Raine has told her to actually process the divorce papers. All she knew was that she felt happy with Raine but deep down, she wishes it was Maggie. And now, Maggie was left alone, with a broken arm and a broken heart.

"Maybe she doesn't wanna see me," Alex thought to herself, she gathered the letters and read everything. She saw a rainbow-colored envelope at the bottom of the box. She was nervous but she's glad that she is reading everything Maggie wasn't able to tell her in person.

'Hey, babe. Where do you wanna go for our 4th wedding anniversary? I'm guessing you don't wanna travel so I'll prepare dinner for us. I'll take the whole day off and we can kiss all we want. Do you want that? It's 4 months away but I can't wait. This will be my last letter in the box because they are all looking at me and I found them trying to snatch this box. I'm gonna give it to you soon. I love you, Alex Danvers-Sawyer. Forever 💙'

Alex smudged the writings with her tears. She hugged the letter and continued crying. From that moment on, she knew that she fucked up.

And tomorrow will be another fucked up day for her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Please let me know if this story is somehow triggering for you or for other people. If you find this story a disturbing one, tell me so I can correct my actions. If you have time, please check my other story 'After Season', see my works. That's my first ever Sanvers Fic. It's a Sanvers Endgame with a *wink wink* Sanvers wedding!! Thank you all so much. Here's an update for you.

Maggie took a few minutes before deciding to get up. Usually, it takes a kiss from Alex to get her out of bed and eat the breakfast Alex prepared. It took her a while to stretch, she put her arm sling on and went to the bathroom. It's the last day of her day off because of the accident, tomorrow she'll start to work again.

After doing her bathroom rituals, Maggie went to the dining area and found Lena talking to Grace.

"What are you doing here?" it was a dreaded question, Maggie doesn't wanna know the answer to. One, Alex has signed the papers; two, she's waiting for her to sign, too; and three, she's here to process everything and divide all her and Alex's properties.

"Good morning to you, too, Maggs," Lena said, assisting Maggie toward the table. Grace smiled at her but said nothing. Maggie's mind was racing, she doesn't wanna know the reason why Grace is here.

"Can we talk about this some other time?" she asked, defeated, succumbing to fear, "I wanna get back to Alex and if you could give me more time"

"Actually, that's not the reason why I'm here," Grace said, Lena excused herself to let the two talk, she squeezed Maggie's shoulder before walking out. Good thing she didn't squeeze the broken one.

"Then what?" Maggie was annoyed, it's too early for some crying again, she cried all night which Lena understood and let her friend's tears fall.

"I wanna say I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have forced to come to the sessions and I also understand that you're still hurting and you don't want other people to see you. Maybe, we could do it one-on-one?"

Maggie scoffed at the idea. She raised her eyebrow at Grace, waiting to see if she's just kidding about what she just said. She chuckled, letting out a heavy sigh.

"I wanna help you, Maggie" Grace was sincere and Maggie doesn't know what's the real reason this attorney is doing this kind of thing, "I wanna help you heal"

"You're crazy. Look, I know you want this case to be solved so you can walk out. I get it, it's your job"

"No, Maggie. I---"

"Stop it, okay? Stop it. Because I don't wanna hurt Alex. I am not signing those papers. I wanna get back to my wife"

And Maggie felt her eyes stinging with tears. Lena suddenly went to the rescue and made an apologetic look on Grace. 

"Thank you, Grace" Lena said and Grace got out of the apartment. Lena was cradling Maggie, consoling her friend. She's hurt, too, but she doesn't wanna let Maggie see her, she needs to be strong for her friend.

***

Alex woke up feeling empty. Her face stings, must be from the scratches and punch she received last night. She went to the bathroom and looked at the mirror. Her eyes are bulgy, her lips have cut, and her face is swollen. She forgot to treat her wounds last night, and now it shows. There's a wound she can't seem to heal.

She was a fool for believing in Raine, now she's gotten a taste of her own medicine. She quickly showered and mended her wounds. Maggie always treats her wounds, may it be a scratch or a burn, Maggie wouldn't let her get hurt. Maggie is always there to heal her.

She turned on her phone and it was suddenly full of Raine's messages and calls, but there's a message she must have missed last night.

/From: The Shorter Half

I'm at our house. I'm cooking dinner. Please, come home./

She smiled at the name. It was a bet she won from Maggie where she can put the contact name of her wife as The Shorter Half and she as The Taller Half on Maggie's contacts. She realized it was sent last night and her eyes went wide. Maggie waited for her and she didn't come.

She hurriedly put her clothes on, fixed her things and checked out of the hotel. She needs to go to her wife. 

She called a cab and quickly entered.

"5th Avenue"

She was nervous inside the taxi. She doesn't know what to say if she ever sees Maggie. She drafted a lot of text to Maggie, she didn't even send one. 

"Things will be okay. You're here" the driver said and she recognized the voice, it was the driver last night, "Figured you would need a ride early in the morning. Have a nice day"

"Yeah, sure. Thanks" Alex said and walked to where their apartment is.

She was pacing for about 10 minutes before finally holding the doorknob, trying to insert the key which seemed not to fit in. Her hands are shaky, she's uncertain of what would the apartment looked like. She was about to turn the key but the door already opened and it revealed Maggie who has not looked into her yet because she was talking to someone inside their apartment.

"Yeah, sure. I'll tell the vendor---Alex"

They were both shocked, longing to touch each other but a sudden realization hit them both, that they are about to get divorced. Maggie didn't say a word, she let Alex in and closed the door behind her.

She motioned for the couch and Alex hastily obliged. Maggie looked for the first aid kit, ignoring Lena who was confused about the silence. She peeked to see that it was Alex so she kept her mouth shut and went back to the guest room.

"Maggie" Alex called, Maggie didn't answer and with her unbroken arm, she touched Alex's face and started cleaning the cuts and scratches Alex suffered. She was too busy with healing Alex's wounds, fighting the urge to kiss the woman in front of her.

"Maggs" Alex called again, no reply. Maggie patched Alex's forehead, she touched the cut on Alex's lips and started cleaning it.

"What happened?" an all concerned Maggie asked, it was evident in her voice that made Alex's heart crumpled, her wife still loves her after all that she's done.

Alex cried and Maggie held her. Combing her hair and pulling Alex into her arms. Maggie's eyes welled with tears. Kissing the top of Alex's head.

"I'm sorry," Alex said, she wiped her tears and stood up, "I...I'm gonna go"

"Alex, no" Maggie held her hands, "I'm not letting you go. Stay here. Stay with me"

"But...I...I don't...why are you like that?"

Alex wanted to question everything. She wanted to ask why Maggie still loves her despite the fact that she cheated on her. She wanted to know how Maggie carries herself like this, how Maggie is so tough to be handling it all by herself. She wanted to ask why but no words came out of her mouth.

Maggie held her tight, not wanting to let go. She held Alex like she is the most precious thing on earth because Alex really is and she's the best thing that ever happened to Maggie.

Maggie winced at the pain creeping in her arm and Alex noticed. She removed Maggie's arm sling and tried to straighten the broken arm. She has knowledge in this kind of stuff so Maggie let her do her thing.

"So, Lena's here" 

"Yeah, she got here last night. Kara is in a business trip with Clark" Maggie explained, staring at Alex who seemed so busy with what she's doing.

"I see" a dry reply from Alex, "How is she?"

"She's fine, I guess" was Maggie's answer because Lena doesn't really talk about her life. It was all Maggie's heartache that they talked about.

"Does it still hurt?" Alex asked, massaging Maggie's arm. Maggie playfully smiled at Alex's question.

"Kind of but you're here so now I'm healed" Alex was quiet, feeling like that wasn't the only thing that hurt Maggie. She was the one who hurt Maggie and she needs to take it back.

"Then let me heal you"

Maggie wanted to protest but she kept her mouth shut. Thinking of this very moment like a dream, like Alex is really here and that they are okay and they are not breaking up.

"How?"

Alex was silent, for she doesn't even know what she's talking about. But she wants to make it up to Maggie. She wants to wake up every morning and sleep every night by Maggie's side. She still wants to call Maggie her wife, she wants to keep her vow to Maggie. To take care of her and cherish her, to stay when things are bad or even worse, and to love Maggie despite all the difficulties.

Because after all that she's done, she still wanna come back to Maggie. She wants to come home to her wife, the only owner of her heart.

"You'll see"


	5. Chapter 5

"Welcome back and Congratulations, Detective Sawyer!" Maggie's officials and handles greeted her and she feels so delighted being back in business.

"What's the congratulations for?" she asked, they wouldn't be celebrating about her personal life, right? 

"Case closed, Detective. You've done a great job" she can't believe it. The biggest case in National City has been solved and it's because of her, "Thank you, Detective"

Her colleagues cheered on her and they ate some food they ordered for some celebration. Maggie's lead was not wasted and she was so proud of her team who did their best to fight crimes and defend their city.

Maggie went to her desk and found out that she is missing a thing on her table. She looked around but she couldn't find it.

"Vasquez," she called her partner, "have you seen a box in here?"

"Uh," her partner was scratching the suddenly not itchy part of her head, "I kinda give it to your...wife, Detective"

"What?!" everyone looked at them and Maggie dismissed them all, whispering to Vasquez, "When?"

"The other day? I'm sorry that was the only thing I know that would suit up this charity event between the officers. I hope you're not mad"

"Okay. I'm not" Maggie stated, she remembered yesterday that Alex was holding a box and she kept it in their closet. She didn't realize it was the same box.

"Really?"

"Yes, it's okay"

"So," Vasquez was looking at Maggie, not knowing where to start her inquiry, wanting to bombard her partner questions she's been meaning to ask, "How is it going with you and your wife?"

Maggie was astonished at the questioning. She doesn't really talk about personal things like this except when she's talking and storytelling them about Alex. But Vasquez knew, Maggie is her partner and she knows when it is a good thing or a bad thing with her. She also knew that Maggie knows for a long time that her wife is cheating on her.

"We're good," she said, convincing Vasquez who just nodded, "Thanks by the way"

Vasquez was about to turn away when she remembered something.

"You know, someone's looking for you. She left her number. Should I call her?"

"Who is it?"

Maggie felt nervous, maybe it was Alex. She woke up and Alex was not on her side. Lena told her that she heard the door at dawn but she was too lazy to check on it. And Alex's clothes are half gone. She was expecting it would be Alex but she was disappointed when Vasquez spoke.

"Grace? Yeah, Grace is her name"

"Oh," was all Maggie's reply, "Thanks"

Vasquez stared at her. She knew the disappointed look on her partner's face. It was not someone she's expecting.

"Detective, I watched a movie last night"

"Yeah? How was it?" Maggie sat in front of her desk, looking at the files, listening to Vasquez, "was it good?"

"Kinda. I picked up a lesson by the way"

"Uh-huh"

"It says that your past will always be what it was and you can't let it define you or stop you from opening up to something new. You can't let that fear hold you back. Ah, I forgot the other line"

Maggie was stunned, it somehow speaks to her but she doesn't wanna entertain the idea. She nodded at Vasquez who got up on her sit and lingered by Maggie's side.

"Maybe you should see this Grace," Vasquez said and offered the paper with numbers on it. Maggie was hesitant but she took it anyway. She thanked Vasquez and proceeded with working on her new files.

"So good to be back", she thought to herself, wondering what the title of the movie was.

***

Alex was in a studio unit she rented. It was small but she has no other choice. She took her things and decided to stay away from Maggie to stop the hurting. She wanted to clear her mind and clear her path toward Maggie.

She has not talked to her mom or to Kara about the happenings in her life because she knew that she will be scold at and Kara would be frustrated calling Alex a dummy. She laughed at the memory.

She didn't even go to her work. She asked if she could file a resignation letter but her boss told her to stay for another month so they can assess her and decide.

Her phone buzzed and it was a text from Maggie.

/Fr: The Shorter Half

Where are you?/

Alex didn't answer her. She fixed her things, this studio will be her home for the next months. Away from Maggie.

Her phone rang, it was a call from Maggie. She looked at the time and saw that it was already 12:00 noon - Maggie's breaktime. Her hands were shaky as she composed herself to swipe the answer button.

/Hey, where are you? Are you coming home tonight? I'll be out at 6 p.m., do you want me to pick you up?  
/Maggie  
/I could ask Lena to pick you up  
/Maggie, stop

The line went quiet. It was all the heavy breathing. Alex couldn't form her words. She was biting the inside of her cheek to stop her from bursting in tears.

/Just tell me when you're coming home

Alex was waiting for another word but she heard Maggie's voice crack. She abruptly ended the call and threw the phone on her bed. She was frustrated at herself. She doesn't want Maggie to see her like this.

She continued fixing her things. Remembering how she and Maggie were when they first live in their new house. It was a happy memory, every one of their friends were there to help them decorate and made a housewarming party.

She cried and cried until she can stand up again and explore the small unit she's in. She can see the police station from her window, she can walk their apartment with just 5 minutes but she doesn't want anyone to find her. She has to help herself, she wants Maggie to heal, and when they're both whole again, maybe, just maybe, she can come back to Maggie.

***

Maggie sat on the barstool, asking for one more drink from the bartender. The alcohol doesn't seem to numb her.

"Can I get another, please?" she said, surprised that she didn't slur her words. 

Five days, it's been five days since Alex decided to leave and no one knows where she is. It has also been five consecutive nights of Maggie spending time at the bar where Lena always picks her up and scold her for being so stubborn.

"No," someone said, "we're going home. Here's the money"

The bartender took the money and Maggie scowled at her. She looked at the woman who canceled her drink and shook her head.

"What's up, Luthor?" Lena tried to take Maggie from the seat but the other woman was holding the stool, "I'll spend the night, here. Come on, it's early and it's Friday. TGIF?"

Lena unbelievably laughed at her friend. This was the worst she's seen of Maggie and she doesn't know what to do to get her friend home.

"I'm taking you home, Maggs. Come on"

"Home?" Maggie snicked, home is where Alex is and right now, she's nowhere to be found, "is Alex there?"

"No"

"Then that's not home" she spoke sadly, drinking the last glass of alcohol she managed to keep away from Lena, "Come on"

Lena was amazed at how Maggie stood up and followed her outside. They were both quiet, Lena knew not to inquire about it.

Maggie has somehow realized that Lena was always there for her, even if she's busy with her work. It's been a week since Lena got in her and Alex's apartment and decided to stay to take care of Maggie, which Maggie is thankful for.

She appreciated her friend's effort and somehow felt that she should be responsible instead of the opposite.

They were already outside and the car opened in front of them. Maggie was delighted to see who the driver was.

"Winn!"

"Need a ride, ladies?"

Maggie happily hopped inside the car and offered Winn a hug, which the guy returned. She looked at Lena and mouthed thank you. They were both at the backseat in case Maggie realized she's drunk and remembered to throw up in Winn's car.

The car ride was quiet, Maggie was looking outside. All the lights were blurry for her sight, must've been the alcohol, she thought. Lena and Winn were exchanging glances, asking, trying to lighten the mood but they can't form their words.

Maggie became uneasy, looking at Winn and Lena like she was in some kind of a trance. 

"Winn?" she asked, not really knowing what to ask, "Have you seen Alex?"

"Nope," Winn answered, "Do you want me to track her or ask Kara?"

"No. I just want to know if she's okay"

The car went silent again so Winn decided to turn on the radio.

'when I taste tequila  
all I see is you'

"Ugh, not helping, Winn" Lena scoffed and Maggie just laughed at them. He turned it off so they were quiet again.

Maggie was still thinking of Alex. She's a detective, she detects, that's what she told Alex but she can't seem to find where her wife is. Life is so ironic.

Maggie felt something in her stomach rumble, she became dizzy all of a sudden and grabbed Lena by her shoulders.

"Are you gonna throw up?" Lena asked, Maggie shook her head to say no and Lena massaged her back, "Are you sure?"

"Maggie Sawyer, you are not gonna-----" Maggie throw up in the car, "throw up in my car"

Winn stopped the car so Maggie and Lena can get out and they both helped Maggie vomit. Maggie was laughing but it was all cut short when she vomits. She was laughing at Winn's disgusted look and Lena seemed to find it funny, too.

"I'm not drunk," Maggie said, and she vomits, "I'm just...full" and she vomits again. Lena ponied her hair and helped Maggie, Winn went inside the deli store to get some water and mouthwash for Maggie.

Maggie was done vomiting so she looked up at Lena who seemed to be fighting the urge to laugh out loud at her friend. Maggie has never been this drunk, she has high alcohol tolerance and always the one to take care of her friends when they're drunk. 

Maggie stood straight and looked for Winn who went inside the deli store. The glass door opened and she was stunned to see the woman who got out of the store.

She was looking at her, longing. She wanted to run to her but her feet seemed to not move. She was stuck looking, trying to reach the woman but she can't.

"Alex?" the woman was shocked, too. She hurriedly ran toward the other side where another woman who was unseen was waiting for Alex, and she left Maggie, whose mouth was agape, "Lena, I think I saw Alex" she said but Lena was not listening, she was too busy texting.

"Hey, there! Here are the water and mouthwash. I almost forgot. You have to pay for my carwash" Winn gave Maggie the things he bought and Maggie happily took it. Lena still was busy, furious about her textmate. Maggie drank the water and rinsed her mouth.

Winn called a taxi because the three of them can't seem to handle the smell of Maggie's vomit. They have to get back to it tomorrow.

As they were inside the cab, Maggie can't stop thinking about Alex. She was sure it was her, even if she's drunk. She knew it was Alex. What's bothering her is why did Alex run away?

Maggie scowled at herself. Of course, Alex will run from her. Alex already left her, and she's the only one who's hanging on. She looked at Lena who was still frustrated at her phone. She saw Winn who has files with him in the shotgun seat.

From that moment she realized that it's time to take care of herself. She's done being taken care of by her friends who have lives outside Maggie. She pulled out her phone and the paper Vasquez gave her.

/Can we meet tomorrow, Atty. Grace?/


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I've been reading your comments and to be honest, I really don't know how to respond. I'm sorry, but I want you all to know that those comments are appreciated and I am hearing all of it. Thank you so much. Here's an update.

"So, tell me, why did your partner cheat?"

"He was looking for someone"

"She doesn't like me anymore"

"She's found, someone?"

That's what Maggie heard around the group of people Grace introduced to her a while ago. They're newcomers to the session. It's the second to the last session of the group but for Maggie, everything's a last one.

The room was quiet and everyone was looking at her, waiting for her answer. Grace smiled at her, she sighed and speak out her part.

"Because I was busy? She felt like I abandoned her? She needed someone and I wasn't there. Guess I was not enough" Maggie said, not looking at anyone. She's trying to find out where did she go wrong with her relationship with Alex.

She was easy to blame herself because Alex pinned her on it and now she just wants to accept that maybe she's right. Her exes have said to her that she doesn't deserve to be loved, that she was better off alone and that she can't find someone who will love her until the end.

She thought Alex was different, but maybe her ex-lovers were right about her, that she doesn't deserve to be happy because she's a broken miserable person who found Alex in the middle of self-doubt.

Alex made her feel loved, she was afraid at first of dating Alex because she's fresh off the boat but she can't deny her feelings.

"You should stop blaming yourself for what happened," Grace said, mainly looking at Maggie. The others nodded and read the pamphlet Grace has given.

Maggie figured out that if she goes to these sessions she will help herself and a lot of people around. She doesn't want Lena to be spending time around to check on her while she's at work. She doesn't wanna be a burden, even to Winn who treats her as his big sister who has a life of his own. She should start accepting the fact that Alex left and she's never coming back.

Maybe they were right, they were all right.

"I want you to realize that you are enough. That you are meant for something or someone better. I want to help you open up to something new"

Open up to something new. That's what Vasquez said, maybe they saw the same movie. Maggie smiled at the thought.

"That's all for now. We are nearing the end of our session and I want to know if I am helping you all. Have a nice day"

Grace told them goodbyes and offered handshakes. Maggie stood up waiting for her which the other woman was oblivious of. She was shocked when she saw Maggie looking, smiling at her.

"You're quite famous" Maggie spoke as she walked toward Grace, "have a lot of fans I have to wait in line" she teased, Grace looked away and laughed.

"Shut up" she was arranging the chairs and Maggie helped her clean up their little room for sessions, "I thought maybe, I could use some time"

They were quiet organizing the things in their so-called 'Sessions' and Maggie can feel the awkwardness. She shouldn't be seeing the attorney who is gonna process her divorce with her wife.

" You know/ Would you like some coffee?" Grace asked, looking at Maggie, suddenly conscious of her action. She smiled at the attorney and reckoned she could really use some time.

"Yeah. Sure"

***

"I didn't order coffee. Coffee is bad for the heart. Maybe you could use some hot chocolate. Was that okay?" Grace asked as she gave the cup to Maggie. Maggie happily took it and thanked Grace for it.

"Thanks, attorney"

They were sipping hot chocolate in silence, not knowing what to talk about. Feeling the awkward tension they felt a while ago.

"You can call me, Grace, Maggie" Maggie nodded, "I know this is awkward but if you're not comfortable you could just walk away and leave me here. God, I'm really not good with this"

Maggie laughed at the panicked look on Grace's face. She was staring at her, analyzing what could this woman be so panicky about. She's an attorney, she should know how to handle a one-on-one with people. Maggie shakes her head and offered a dimpled smile.

"It's okay" Maggie tapped Grace's hand on the table where the latter flinched and looked at Maggie, "Think of me as if I'm not a client. I'm a friend"

"Yeah, sure" Their hands lingered for a moment until Grace removed hers and pretended to sip from her cup of hot chocolate.

"Are you okay?" Maggie was suddenly concerned, "Your face seems red" and Grace almost spat the hot choco but swallowed it even if it's hot.

Maggie offered her a glass of water which Grace accepted and gulped as fast as she can. Maggie was impressed but somehow bothered.

"Thanks. I...I should go" Grace said, taking her things and the cup of hot choco, she lingered by Maggie's side and leaned in to kiss Maggie's cheek and she ran away. 

Maggie was shocked at the gesture and laughed. This woman is something and she can't figure out why. She stayed on the table and finished her drink.

While on the other side, a woman wearing a hoodie and sunglasses was staring at her. Inspecting, looking at Maggie like some kind of a suspect. The woman crumpled her empty cup of coffee the moment Grace kissed Maggie, which she didn't see where the kiss landed that made her angrier.

She got a glass of water and while Maggie was too busy looking at the side. She walked to where Maggie is and purposedly poured the water on her.

"What the---?" Maggie exclaimed, the waitress hurried toward them and offered Maggie a towel. She took it and when she's about to look up who did it, the door was suddenly open and the woman who poured water on her was gone.

"Hey, did you see that?" she asked the waitress, she shook her head no, feeling sorry for Maggie. Her sweatshirt is all wet so she removed it to ease the uneasiness and the waitress gasped in response.

Maggie looked at herself and remembered she was not alone and that she was just wearing a fitted top tank which made her look hot and features so attractive she waved goodbye to her audiences and hopped on a taxi.

***

"So you're saying someone poured water on you and left?" Lena snickered at her friend's story. She gave Maggie her clothes and proceeded with her work on her laptop.

"Yeah, I might have pissed off a lot of people going out"

Maggie changed into the 'Hello Sunshine' shirt which was the first shirt of Alex she has worn. She shrugged it off and plumped next to Lena in the couch.

"Are you hungry?" Lena asked, not looking at Maggie, she was typing a document. Maggie felt guilty for letting Lena stay here. She tried to talk to Lena about going back to where she is but she insisted on staying with Maggie.

"No, I'm good" Lena leaned her head on Maggie's shoulders, "Lena, I'm good. You can get back to your work"

Lena closed her laptop and looked at Maggie. She held her friend's hand and cupped her face, daring Maggie to look at her.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm good here, too, Maggs" Lena spoke with sincerity that made Maggie tear up a little, "Besides, Kara's coming tonight to pick me up so you don't have to try so hard to kick me out of here" Lena chuckled and playfully punched Maggie's stomach.

"Shut up. That's my abs" Maggie hugged her friend and was grateful for Lena always being there for her. She doesn't wanna ask how Kara is coming over and if Kara does know about Alex and Maggie's incoming divorce. She doesn't wanna dwell on Kara's intuition if she knows, she knows.

She's not gonna deny everything and she's not gonna beg Kara to talk to her sister because she knows where she stands. She smiled at the realization that slowly, she is learning to cope up, that she can be better.

One day she'll be fine and she'll be able to let go of Alex. One day she'll be able to forgive her and just forget the worst thing that ever happened to both them.

One day, she will be more than good. Her phone buzzed and smiled at the text.

/Fr. Atty. Grace

I'm sorry a while ago. Could you maybe do dinner with me next week? 

Please 🙏 /

She was startled when Lena cleared her throat, who was actually peeking at Maggie's phone. Lena gave a teasing smile at Maggie and got the phone from her friend.

"What are you doing?" Maggie scowled at her, she was reaching for her phone but Lena got up and she's much taller than Maggie, "Give me that"

"Sent," Lena said and gave back the phone, "I see you got a date with the attorney"

"It's not a date, it's just a dinner. Friendly dinner, we've known each other for weeks maybe or a month. I don't know, I didn't realize" Maggie reasoned out, and that got her thinking. She's opening up to something new but the idea of dinner with Grace is not a date on her list.

"Okay," Lena shrugged, opening her laptop again and plumping on the couch with Maggie.

Maggie's phone buzzed again and it was a reply from Grace.

/Fr. Atty. Grace

I'll see you. xo/

Maggie smiled at the thought, still convincing herself that it's not gonna be a date, just friendly dinner with her friend.


	7. Chapter 7

"Pull over," Maggie said as they reached the block to where she and Alex used to live, now she lives alone. Lena got off a week ago, she was picked up by Kara which didn't really see Maggie in the apartment and just left a note on the fridge.

"I really had a great night, Maggie," Grace said, holding Maggie's hand. Maggie flinched at the touch so she pulled a strand of her hair and unfastened her seatbelt.

"Yeah, me, too, Grace" she opened the car door when Grace pulled her and kissed her. Maggie pulled away, she didn't know how to respond.

"I'm sorry" Grace apologized, not really looking at Maggie. It was their second dinner which Maggie still doesn't consider as a date, "Goodnight, Maggie"

"Goodnight, Grace" Maggie nodded and got out of the car. Grace honked the car and drove away.

Maggie was touching her lips as she walked to her apartment. She somehow felt something about the moment earlier but she doesn't wanna entertain the idea.

She pulled out her key and was shocked to find out that the door was unlocked. She readied herself for a burglar, ready to pounce on someone who might trespass in her apartment.

She opened the door, the lights were on. She searched the kitchen for a weapon but all she saw was a tall woman who was so busy doing her own thing that she didn't realize someone was watching her.

"Alex?" the woman was startled at Maggie's voice, she smiled at Maggie but Maggie couldn't return the smile, "What are you doing?"

"Hey, ugh, I cook some dinner. Do you want to eat?" Alex offered, gesturing Maggie to come nearer, but Maggie seemed to be stuck on her feet, unable to move toward Alex.

Maggie was silent, she doesn't know what Alex was doing here. After being gone for almost a month, here she is, standing in front of Maggie, like nothing ever happened, like that kind of heartbreak for Maggie was just a dream.

Maggie looked at the food Alex prepared, she ate dinner already but she's still hungry, she wanted to say yes but her mind says no.

"Uh, no. I already had dinner"

"Oh" Alex took out the other plate and put it back in the counter, she sat on the table and started putting food on her plate, "If you're hungry you can just get some or reheat it later"

Alex started eating, not minding Maggie who seemed to be staring at her. Still unable to move from her place. Maggie was pissed, she's frustrated, she doesn't know what Alex is doing here and why the Gods hate her so much she has to suffer this.

She closed her eyes and counted one to five before proceeding to sit on the chair opposite Alex. Their dining table wasn't really that long, it's enough for six people. She was staring at Alex who seemed to be oblivious of what she's doing.

Maggie shook her head, breathing heavily, trying to compose a sentence for Alex. She wanted to shout, wanted to cry, wanted to know what brought Alex in their apartment after disappearing without any word.

Even Kara doesn't know where her sister was, as Lena told her on a text. Apparently, Kara doesn't know anything about it, she was too busy with her work that she forgot to check in on her sister.

"Alex" Maggie called, Alex looked at her, spoon halfway through her mouth, "What are you doing here?"

"Eating?" Alex answered, she finished her food, she didn't look at Maggie and Maggie didn't like her answer. Her patience is getting shorter, she composed herself and looked at Alex, her brows furrowed.

"Answer me straight, Alex" Maggie was calm but Alex felt the warning in her voice, Maggie used to use that voice to Alex to tell her what's really going on and she never failed, "What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"

Alex felt nervous at Maggie's tone. Maggie was clenching her fist. Her broken arm has healed, hopefully, she will be, too, soon. Alex scraped her plate and put it on the sink.

"I...just...wanna see you" Alex admitted, barely looking at Maggie who scoffed at her answer, "I wanna make things right with you" Alex was on the verge of crying and Maggie was losing it. She doesn't wanna break her walls so easily because of this. She doesn't wanna let her guard down.

"You wanna see me?" Maggie retorted, sarcasm evident in her voice, she was brushing her hair with both her hands, shaking her head, thinking of what to say to Alex, "Just now?"

"Maggie," Alex trailed off, composing her thoughts, "I wanna see if you're okay. I wanna be here with you. I wanna be with you"

Alex was fidgeting with her hands, biting the insides of her cheeks. She was walking toward Maggie but Maggie held her hand up that made Alex stopped on her track.

"Maggie, please" Alex's voice made Maggie crumbled, she can't stand the look on Alex's face, "Let me stay" Alex was still walking toward Maggie. She tried to held Maggie's hand on the table but Maggie refused, she stood up and turned her back on Alex.

"You can't just come and go as you please, Alex" and with that, Alex was left alone in the kitchen. Crying, realizing how stupid it was to ask Maggie for a chance when she didn't give it to her.

On the other side, Maggie hurried towards the bed and locked the door. She was staring at the ceiling, trying to decipher what Alex's motive was. She didn't realize she was crying until her phone buzzed and it showed Grace calling.

She wiped her tears and answered the call.

G: Hey, I just got home. I'm sorry a while ago. Are you crying?  
M: No, I'm just, I think I caught some allergies  
G: Do you want me to go back there? I have meds here  
M: No, Grace. It's fine, I'm fine.  
G: Yeah, okay  
M: Yeah  
G: Alright, I'll see you when I see you. Goodnight, Maggie  
M: Goodnight

The call ended and Maggie wiped her tears. She opened the closet to change into her pj's and was shocked to see that the closet was full again, Alex's clothes were there on the same spot where it was empty when Alex left.

She sighed and went to the kitchen to see Alex and found her sitting on the floor with her back on the kitchen counter, staring at nothing. Maggie's heart constricted in pain. She nudged Alex, even if she's mad, she can't let Alex sleep on the floor for she knows Alex's body will be sore in the morning.

"Alex?" Maggie called, Alex didn't answer, "Hey" she called again, it startled Alex and was shocked to see Maggie looking at her.

"Maggs"

"Come on, you can sleep on the bed. I'll be on the couch" Maggie offered, Alex didn't say any word and followed Maggie's orders.

Alex thanked Maggie and wanted to protest but Maggie heard none of it. Maggie got her pillow and comforter and went to their living room. She positioned herself on the couch, she took out her phone and shuffled songs on her phone to ease the silence. She placed her phone on the table.

And she confirmed that Gods really hate her because the song that played was her and Alex's wedding song. She wanted to stop the music but she's too tired to reach for her phone. She stared at the ceiling, looking for answers in the vastness of white paint on the ceiling.

She's mad at Alex for leaving, she's pissed that Alex thinks she can come and go here in their apartment when Alex left without saying anything.

She let herself sleep with a furious heart and racing mind for what was happening to her. Maybe if she wakes up, everything will be fine. Maybe this was just a nightmare.

***

Maggie woke up feeling hungry. She must have slept too much. She stood up and saw that it was still dark. She reached for her phone and saw that it was only 1 AM but she's hungry so she went to the kitchen and found something on the table.

She opened it and saw a plate of what Alex has cooked a while ago. Alex, she remembered Alex, she ran to the bedroom and saw that Alex was sleeping peacefully, in her usual sleeping position, hugging the pillow. She smiled but stopped herself from admiring the woman in front of her.

She went back to the kitchen, reheat the food and ate swiftly. She washed the plates and can't still feel herself going back to sleep.

She was thinking of what tomorrow would be, or later would be if she sees Alex and if Alex decided to live again in this house.

So she remembered what Grace told them in their sessions.

"Divide"

Maggie had the most ridiculous idea right now. She took out a masking tape from her drawer and started dividing every part of this house into two. She was drawing a line in between the pieces of furniture and the floor with the masking tape. 

"I don't even know what I'm doing but this will do"

She wrote on the right side, Alex and her name on the left side.

And in the morning when they both wake up, they will be both confused so as to why their house is streaked with masking tape courtesy of Maggie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can someone help me with the tags? Thank you. Have a nice day!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post the update before I go to sleep. Have a good night. Oh, probably not. Enjoy the update...or not. :--)

Alex woke up to empty space next to her. She remembered the feeling of waking up and staring at Maggie, admiring the lovely woman who used to snuggle next to her and pretends to be asleep to get a good morning kiss from her. Now, she's alone, unaccompanied by Maggie who chose to sleep on the couch instead of their guest room.

Alex stood up to stretched her body and proceeded to fix the bed. It's just 6:00 AM and she doesn't have to be early on her work because today is her last day and she hasn't told Maggie, she didn't tell Kara nor her mom, Eliza.

As she opened the door, her eyes followed a streaked of white lining over their apartment. It is divided by masking tape and Alex's eyes went wide.

"Maggs?" she called, careful not to go toward the other side, "Maggie?" she called again. Outside their bedroom where it faces the guest room is where, it is where she is right now and Maggie's name was written on the other side, toward the guest room.

"What the" she can't quite put her finger on it but she knows Maggie has done something ridiculous last night. She looked for Maggie in the living room, ignoring the streaks of masking tape.

She saw how Maggie was holding a masking tape and a marker while sleeping soundly on the couch. Alex unbelievably laughed at Maggie's activity, she took the marker and tape, careful not to wake her up. She let Maggie sleep for a while and proceeded to work on the kitchen.

And as she walks toward the kitchen, the kitchen was also divided into two. The sink, the table, the cabinets, the refrigerator, even the stove has masking tape on it.

"How am I supposed to cook now?" Alex remembered the names written where their sides were. Alex skidded to the right side of the stove and facepalmed.

"This one doesn't work" ignoring the borderlines, Alex removed the tape and prepared breakfast for the both of them. Mildly arguing with herself on how she will confront Maggie about the lines in their apartment.

Alex went to where Maggie was sleeping and nudged her, admiring the beautiful woman that lies in front of her.

She sat on the small space of the couch and without knowing it, Alex kissed Maggie's forehead and proceeded to wake her up.

"Maggie?"

"Hmmm"

"Wake up, you're gonna be late"

Upon hearing the words, Maggie jolted and carelessly woke up making Alex fall on her butt. Maggie was shocked to hear a loud thump and saw that it was Alex who fell.

"Alex, what are you doing?" Maggie helped her up and she was touching her back, "Are you hurt?"

"No, it's fine. I'm fine" Alex said but she was holding her hip, trying to suppress the pain, "Good morning?"

"Yeah, morning" they were quiet for a while until Maggie helped Alex and let her sit on the couch, "Let me see"

Alex turned her back to let Maggie check on her hip. She was shocked when Maggie pulled up her shirt and touched the part where it hurts. They both twitched at the contact.

"I'm just gonna get some ice," Maggie said and as she stood up, she was astonished at how their apartment looked like. It was full of masking tape and she remembered what she did last night, "Oh, boy"

"Yeah, oh boy, Maggie, let's eat. You're gonna be late"

***

"Can we not divide the kitchen?" Alex was trailing behind Maggie, asking for the division rules Maggie has said during their breakfast, "I mean, how can I cook when the other one is not working?"

Maggie was running late, she got her towel and went inside the bathroom where Alex is still following her but there's a borderline and Maggie was laughing at how Alex seemed to be careful with the lines.

"Can we talk about it later? I'm gonna be late, I mean, I could be late but it's Monday"

Maggie was about to close the door when Alex stopped her.

"Can we not divide the bathroom, too?"

Maggie snickered, thinking of the idea of dividing the bathroom. Alex suddenly realized what Maggie was thinking.

"Alex, it could be divided if you wanna shower together. Clear?"

"Okay," Alex said and went inside the bathroom, "I'm working, too" she closed the door and Maggie was stunned at the reaction.

Alex started removing her clothes to get in the shower when she suddenly slips.

"Ahhhh" she was lying on the cold bathroom floor, groaning in pain and Maggie still hasn't reacted, "Like what you see, Sawyer?" she joked but she's still grimacing in pain.

"What's with the floor and you today?" Maggie finally responded and put her towel on Alex who has removed her pants and shirt and is only in her underwear.

"Maybe if you could be with me on the floor it would be easy---ouch" Alex retorted but she couldn't move her body. Maggie offered her hand to Alex, stopping herself from smiling at this insignificant event.

"Alex, can you get up?" Alex was trying but she's welling up, "Hey, hey, come on. Hold me" Alex was not answering, she tried to move her head to confirm but she just scowled at herself.

"Maggs"

"Hey, hey, can you see me? Oh, my god, Alex. Hey, Alex" Maggie was panicking, trying to shake Alex who seemed still in her position.

"Maggie," she held Maggie's hand and Maggie was nervous.

"What? Alex? What is it?" Maggie was trying to ease her nervousness but she failed. And a sudden breathe of relief when Alex spoke.

"Maggs, I think I broke my neck"

***

"Maggs, can we go home now?" Alex asked Maggie who was sitting next to her, contacting her partner at work, "I have to go to my work"

"Yeah, and I have to be at the precinct, too" Maggie retorted, she kept her phone and looked at Alex who turned her gaze away from her. Maggie sighed, "Not until the doctor said so, okay?"

"Yeah, okay" Alex agreed and held Maggie's hand, they smiled at each other and were slowly leaning when the door busted open and it revealed Kara and Lena who was shocked to see Alex in a neck brace.

Alex and Maggie were shocked, too.

"What are you two doing here?" Maggie was exchanging glances with Lena, asking if Kara knew about her and Alex's situation.

"What are you two doing here?" Kara asked and walked toward Alex, "You poor thing, what happened to you?"

Kara examined her sister and looked at Maggie for an answer but the latter just shrugged her shoulders.

"And why are you wearing---is that the comforter mom gave you and Maggie?!"

All three women covered their ears and Alex blushed at the recognition. Maggie's face similarly reddens and Lena just laughed at the three of them. Maggie texted her to bring clothes for Alex and she obliged. Maggie was surprised but Lena said they were on their way to a business nearby.

"Okay, Kara. Calm down. Let's ask what happened" Lena announced and asked Kara to sit to the chair next to her.

They were waiting for Alex and Maggie to speak but no one dared to. Maggie smiled at the memory but Alex pinched her cheeks and she pouted at Alex. Alex smiled and kissed her which stunned both of them.

Kara cleared her throat that startled the two and Lena started giving conclusions so as to why Alex ended up here with a broken neck in a comforter, a towel and in her underwear only.

"Oh, you were having the morning sexy time!" she shouted and Maggie threw the pillow on her face, "That hurts!"

"We were not having the morning...whatever you call it" Alex explained, still stiff from her neck brace, "We were in the bathroom----"

"Oh, I get it, Lena! They were in the bathroom having the morning----Ouch!" Kara complained because she was hit by the other pillow courtesy of Alex.

The door suddenly opened and the doctor came in. He told them that Alex was okay fo go home and that she needs pain reliever and needs to be looked after. He discharged Alex and Lena and Kara took care of the bill.

Maggie was looking at Alex who was also staring at her. She scrunched her nose, furrowed her eyebrows and walked toward Alex.

"Let me carry you" she offered to Alex, "Come on"

"You know they have a wheelchair here, right?" Alex answered, unsure of what Maggie was thinking, "Are you not gonna let me fall?"

Maggie nodded, she gave Alex her jacket and the clothes Lena brought. She gently put Alex's clothes on, careful not to cause any more damage to Alex's neck brace situation.

"Hop in" Maggie positioned herself for a piggyback ride and Alex happily climbed toward Maggie, "Oh, careful"

"Thank you" Alex sincerely said and hugged Maggie from behind, hardly smelling the scent of her because of her situation.

"Well, I'd be the floor if you want"

"Oh, shut up, Sawyer"

They were outside the room laughing, talking about what happened a while ago. Maggie not minding the weight of Alex and happily answered to Alex's questions.

They were near the exit door when Lena and Kara suddenly appeared with a wheelchair so Maggie had no choice but to let Alex use it. If not for Lena's side comments about 'climbing and riding' one another, Maggie wouldn't have given up.

"Alex!' a woman called, she ran toward Alex and Maggie, Lena and Kara exchanged a confused look.

"Excuse me, who are you?" Kara was protective over her sister and blocked Alex from the woman's view.

"Oh, I'm Raine. Raine Costello"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flo is so pretty. Have you seen her new pics, yet? You definitely should. Good night y'all.


	9. Chapter 9

Kara was pacing back and forth. Alex was nervous, Lena was worried and Maggie was nowhere to be found. She vanished when Raine entered the scene.

"I mean, what were you thinking?" Kara half yelled at her sister, "I hate that Raine. Have you told mom?" those were the questions that hang in the air as Alex doesn't know where to start.

"Where's Maggie?" Alex asked, hoping to find a light and be able to explain everything in front of the people who truly love her.

"I texted her, she's on her way. She went to NCPD to report but she's coming back" Lena assured Alex and was confused at the set up of Alex and Maggie's apartment, "Okay, what happened here?"

Kara looked at everywhere and almost laugh but remembered what happened at the hospital, she figured out it was a confirmation of this setup. She hugged Alex but she still wants an explanation from her.

The door suddenly opened and it revealed Maggie who was holding 2 boxes of pizza, a bag of potstickers which was intended for Kara and a bouquet of red roses she hastily hid but already seen by them.

"Too late, saw it" she gave the boxes and the bag to Lena and Kara and walked toward Alex who was in awe, her tears are welling up, she was nervous but Maggie smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

"For you"

"Thanks"

"Yeah, got that from someone on the street" Maggie was nonchalant and turned to Kara and Lena after, "Before you eat up all the potstickers, may I know what's your business here?"

"I think Alex has something to explain" Kara announced, "Maggie's here"

"Calm down, Kara" Lena motioned for Kara who seemed to be so upset of her sister's actions, "Maggs. I'll talk to her"

Maggie pushed Alex's wheelchair toward their bedroom. They were both quiet, not knowing what to say.

Maggie opened their closet and found clothes for Alex. She was careful about Alex's neck brace as she put her clothes on one by one.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Maggie asked, "Do you need to let it out or we'll talk later tonight?"

"No, I want Kara to know and I want you all to know" Alex answered, so thankful of Maggie being understanding and everything. She asked herself why did she lure herself into cheating on her, "Where were you by the way?"

"Outside?"

"Hey!!! I'm ready! She's ready!" Kara shouted, Maggie cackled and assisted Alex outside. They need to get rid of the wheelchair for now.

Alex was on the couch while Lena, Kara, and Maggie were sitting on the floor. It was like they were watching a movie, except the movie is Alex.

Maggie nodded for Alex to start which she acknowledged. She took a deep breath and told them where she was when she disappeared as per Raine's appearance at the hospital a while ago.

Alex told them that she stayed for a month away from them but not away from Maggie for the unit she's staying was just near their apartment, and today was supposed to be her last day at work and that's why Raine showed up at the hospital.

"So, what's the masking tape all about?" Lena asked, Kara had the same question. Alex looked at Maggie who was biting the inside of her cheeks, flaring her nose, and trying to get out the words in her mouth.

"So, I kinda went to sessions and this is what I got" Maggie explained, realizing that she's been looking at Alex this whole time, "This just happened last night and today is kind of crazy"

"Yeah, yeah it is. So, that Raine. Why did she show up?"

Maggie shrugged, waiting for Alex to reveal the answer who seem to struggle with creating an explanation.

"Because I didn't show up at work. It was supposed to be my last day. I wasn't able to pack up"

Alex told them about her resignation and that she'll stay in their apartment and win back Maggie in every little way that she knows. She's slowly trying to get back, she's slowing down so she'll know where to go.

Alex has long terrain of thought about leaving Raine and her girlfriend Denise before they have gotten back together. They showed Alex and helped her despite what happened in the past which they all regretted.

"And Denise was the one who poured water on you because she saw Grace kissed you" Alex felt a pang of jealousy but kept it low key. She averted her gaze toward Kara who was swallowing the last of the potstickers.

"Wait, hold on, who's Grace?" Kara inquired, finally finished with her food, "Are there more characters here that I don't know about?"

"Grace is the attorney, who's supposed to process the...divorce" Maggie answered, whispering the last word, "and she helped me with her sessions and this masking tape and we went out but I never considered it a date" she clarified, only looking at Alex, she smiled at her and Maggie did the same.

Because deep down, Maggie knows that someone still owns her heart and she's waiting for Alex to get back to her. Maybe not now, not today nor tomorrow but soon when all things are better. When they are both better.

"Uh, freaking kiss already!" Kara shouted at them and Lena stopped her before giving any more unnecessary comments.

"We're staying here. I'm with Maggie and you Lena Luthor, stay with Alex"

***

"So, we're supposed to divide, too?" Lena asked, "How do you get on with this thing?" she was complaining at Alex who was taking a nap because of her neck injury. The doctor says she'll be fine within a week and that she needs to refrain from hard chores, just minimal movements.

"Hmmm" was Alex's answer, Lena put on a blanket on Alex and went outside only to see Maggie and Kara on the couch talking seriously.

Maggie was saying something that made Kara laughed and she glanced to the side to see Lena smiling widely at her.

"How's Alex?"

"She's fine" Lena answered and sat on the couch, too. They were quiet, seizing their moments of being together after being away from each other for quite some time.

Maggie left them and went to Alex. Ignoring the lines she had made last night. It must be her furious mind that suggested it.

She was looking at Alex when her phone suddenly buzzed.

M: Hey  
G: Hi, can I see you?

She looked at Alex who was sleeping peacefully with a neck brace. Alex's eyebrows furrowed so she traced it inline to calm Alex in her sleep.

M: Actually, I have some important things to do.  
G: Yeah, about the divorce papers  
M: Oh, uh-wait a minute

She left the room and went to the kitchen to talk to Grace.

G: Maggie, are you still there?  
M: Yeah, I'm here. So, what about it?  
G: I just want to see you. Can you meet me right now?  
M: I-I'm not sure...I--  
G: Please, Maggie. I just want to talk

***

"So, Alex is back in your apartment" it's not a question, but a statement from Grace who was seeking for a confirmation.

"Yeah, last night" Maggie answered. Not knowing where this conversation is going.

"I see"

"Look, Grace. I know you helped me, I know you did and I'm sorry that I couldn't apply it right now but I'm trying"

"Are you really?" Grace retorted, Maggie was shocked at the tone of her voice, "I'm sorry that came out wrong"

Maggie scoffed at the reaction. She brushed her hair and looked at Grace whose eyes are fixated on her.

"Why?"

"What do you mean "why?"

"Why are you doing this?" Maggie wanted to hear the answer, she's confused, Alex is in their apartment, she's talking to Grace, the attorney that Alex found. "I mean, Alex was the one who saw you. She asked for your help but why are you only seeing me?"

She was frustrated, Grace has no answer at all. She was clenching her fist. Trying so hard to keep her cool.

"Because I like you, Maggie" Maggie's mouth hang open, "I like you and I don't know what to do and now Alex is back and I...I have no chance at all---"

"That's why you're pushing this divorce on me?" Maggie finally recovered, Grace was always there for her but she never saw Grace as someone for a liking, especially for her, "Those sessions, that divide thing? You did that to cut me out of Alex's life?"

"She cut you off first"

"That's not the point!" Maggie half-yelled at Grace, "Look, I'm sorry. You should stop. You know me, you know my story and I'm sorry that I can't reciprocate any of the feelings you're giving me"

They were quiet for a while before Grace pulled out papers from her briefcase and showed them to Maggie.

"She already signed. Alex already signed these papers"


	10. Chapter 10

Alex woke up feeling the weight of her neck brace. She looked around her and she saw Lena sleeping on the floor. Then, she remembered Kara was here, too. They spend the night at the apartment.

She looked at the clock and saw that it was already 10 PM. She's hungry, she must have slept all day. Although struggling, she managed to get up and walked to the kitchen.

She saw Maggie drowning herself with a bottle of scotch. Maggie's head was on the table, staring at nothing, holding the bottle of alcohol.

"Maggs?" Alex called but Maggie didn't answer, she walked closer to her and saw that Maggie was crying, "Hey, what happened?"

She sat next to Maggie, stroking her hair, and wiping her tears. Maggie smiled at her, drunkenness evident in her face.

"I love you...so much, Alex" Maggie declared, looking at Alex, tears streaming down her face, "But you keep on hurting me"

Alex was taken aback, she doesn't know what Maggie was saying. She took the bottle away from Maggie and put it in the sink. Alex has no words, she stood beside Maggie and hugged her, letting her know that she's by her side.

Maggie was just crying, hugging Alex by the waist. Alex was confused but she didn't press on Maggie. Maybe it was the alcohol, she thought. She was shushing Maggie, even she could not contain her cry.

"Tell me what happened" but Maggie continued crying, her grip on Alex was getting tighter, not wanting to let go.

Maggi was still mum until Alex heard a snore from her and it made her laugh a little. Her neck seemed to have gotten a little better and her stomach has forgotten that she was hungry.

"Need some help?"

"Kara, hey, yeah, need some" Alex answered, Kara took Maggie and escorted the asleep drunk Maggie on the couch.

"I'll get some ice" Kara said, not even looking at Alex. Alex sat near Maggie, she stroked her cheek and planted a kiss on Maggie's forehead.

Kara arrived and offered the towel to Alex. Alex took it and pressed it on Maggie's face to avoid the vomiting. She was so busy attending to Maggie that she forgot Kara was there.

She was startled when Kara spoke.

"Have you told mom?"

"No. No, I haven't"

"Alex, you can tell me everything" that's when Alex started to break down, she couldn't contain her tears anymore so she cried to Kara.

"I guess, I was never enough. I've searched for something or someone when Maggie took the case which I didn't notice. I...was down and I don't know what's gotten into me but I made a mistake and I'm afraid that it will scar her forever. And...I-I'm also afraid that...that she'll never forgive me. Th-that's why I'm here" Alex said between her sobs, careful not to wake up Maggie.

"Alex. She will forgive you. Just give her time"

"I wanna make things right with her, you know?" she wiped her tears and looked at the sleeping woman beside her, "I wanna do everything to get to her"

"I know you will" Alex shook her head and countered Kara. She scoffed and looked at the ceiling, trying not to make her tears fall again.

"B..but..I-I f-feel like the universe is magically smacking me for the wrong thing that I've done. And now, now I don't know why she drowned herself and she said I-I keep on hurting her. I don't know, Kara. I don't know what to do"

Kara was silent, fighting the urge to scold her sister about what she learned while Alex was asleep. She looked at Maggie who seemed to be heavily sleeping, she turned to Alex and held her hand.

"Do you really wanna do this?" Alex looked at Kara, confuse written on her face, "Maggie...she told me you already signed the divorce papers"

Alex's eyes went wide, shocked at the reveal.

"How did---"

"Is it true, Alex?" Kara asked, "she learned a while ago that you already signed the papers that's why she's been drinking since she got here"

"What? How many bottles did she take?"

"That's the third one," Kara told her, "Alex, answer me. Have you?"

Alex chuckled, trying to keep her cool.

"You know you can't sign those papers without any witnesses, right?"

"Oh," Kara mumbled, "Oh"

"Yeah, oh" they were both stunned when Maggie spoke, "Also, Grace has not been seeing me. The last time I saw her was when I gave those papers to Maggie but I haven't. I didn't sign any"

"Oh, so you haven't? You really love me, Danvers" they looked at Maggie but her eyes were closed, "I love you too" Maggie continued.

Alex tried to wake her up but then they heard her snore and Maggie is asleep again.

"You want to take her to bed or here?" Kara asked, Alex thanked Kara for the help and they woke up Lena to accompany Kara in the guest room.

Alex tried calling Grace but she's out of reach. It's a forgery, she thought. She clenched her jaw and took note of talking to Grace tomorrow.

"I'm gonna sue her"

***

Maggie woke up with a hangover. She turned to her side and felt a lump on the bed. She was slowly feeling the lump and shocked to traced the body of a woman, it's Alex. She was hugging her.

She doesn't remember what happened last night, all she recalls was when she came home after her meeting with Grace she drowned herself in alcohol, hoping to numb the pain.

She slowly removed Alex's hand over her body and got up. She stared at Alex for so long, having a deep breath, thinking of what could happen next.

The door busted open.

"Good---Oh, my god!" Kara turned away after seeing Maggie, "can you put your clothes on?!"

Maggie was confused, she looked at herself and saw that she was only wearing her bra and underwear. She hastily looked for her robe and put it on.

"Fuck," she said, she looked at Alex and saw that Alex was fully dressed, she tried to remember what happened last night but nothing seemed to tick her memory.

"Kara?"

"Yeah, are you done?"

"Yeah" she went outside to find Kara having breathing motions, "Are you okay? What happened last night? And do you have Advil?"

"Yes, I don't know, Yes" Kara answered and went to the guest room to find what Maggie was looking for. Her head's pounding, she went to the kitchen and saw that breakfast is already served.

"Did you cook?"

"Here's the Advil. Come on, let's eat" Kara said and sat across Maggie. Kara couldn't look at Maggie, she was trying to erase a mental image she saw a while ago.

"Come on, Little Danvers. It's okay. We're good. I just don't remember what happened last night" she confessed, hoping to find an answer from Kara but the latter started eating, ignoring Maggie's queries.

Kara doesn't want to talk about Maggie's vomiting scenes last night while at breakfast. Maggie was stubborn to put some clothes on so she woke up with what was left last night.

Maggie was just about to start eating when Alex came in. She looked at Maggie and smiled, Maggie doesn't know what to feel. The only thing she remembers was Alex is willing to let her go.

She got up from her seat and ignored Alex. She didn't even touch her breakfast. She took the Advil and walked out, as soon as she did, she heard Alex asked Kara about what happened but she's not inclined to hear what was it.

***

"Hey," Alex said as Maggie stepped into their apartment. Maggie just nods at her and proceeded in the kitchen. Alex sighed, it's been a week since Maggie started giving her the silent treatment.

Kara asked Lena to make charges for what Grace did but Alex asked her not to. She needs to talk to Grace first but since that, Grace has been out of reach. She wants to do it herself and she doesn't wanna involve anyone else. She has to fix this mess, whatever it is that's causing Maggie to give her the cold treatment.

'That's ethical violation' she remembered Lena's line but she wants to take the matter into her own hands and talk to Grace about it.

"There's dinner at the table. I waited for you. Are you hungry?"

"No. I already ate dinner with...Grace"

"Oh" was Alex's reaction, "have you been having dinner with her since?"

"Yes," Maggie answered, Alex scoffed, not knowing what to say, "I'm going to bed" and by bed, she means the bed in the guest room where Kara and Lena vacated. The divide thing only applies to the separate rooms but when they're both feeling angry at each other, they tried to stick with their side of the house and continues until they're both tired.

"How long will you keep on doing this?" Alex asked before Maggie could walk out.

"Doing what?"

"This" Alex gestured to the both of them, "you've been ignoring me for almost a week now"

"Am I?" Maggie pointed at herself, Alex was hurt but she doesn't show it, "Am I doing this to you?" Maggie walked closer to her, she chuckles, "You did this to yourself, Alex"

The mention of 'Alex' felt like a sharp blade that got out of Maggie's mouth. Alex couldn't speak at all, suddenly afraid of what might happen.

"I...I'm sorry," Alex told her, she looked at the floor, trying not to look at Maggie who stopped her movement toward her.

"That's all you got? You have to give me more than that" Maggie challenged but Alex was suddenly shaky, she tried to regain control of herself and looked at Maggie, fighting the urge to cry.

"Y-you should go to bed," Alex told in between her deep sighs, she was about to walk out when Maggie caught her arms and tried to steady her, "Maggs"

"You're not going anywhere," Maggie said, "Tell me, Alex. Tell me everything" it was an order, Maggie's eyes were fiery, Alex couldn't decipher what Maggie wants. She's afraid, finally afraid that Maggie was ready to leave her.

She realized that the week Maggie's spending with Grace was her trying to forget about her. The days and nights of ignoring her were Maggie helping herself to cope up with lost, but she's not allowing it. But she loves Maggie and she wants her, she doesn't want the divorce anymore. She wants Maggie, she loves Maggie and all she wants is to be with her.

"You wanna know the truth?" Alex asked, Maggie was suddenly curious, "Yeah, I didn't sign those papers. Grace has been lying to you"

"What---"

"Tell me, when's the last time I went out alone and talked to her? Did she ever tell you that? Did she tell you that she's been out of reach?"

"Alex, stop"

"No. You want me to tell you everything, right? Fine" Alex tried to let go of Maggie's grasp and faced her, she's angry, she's mad and she wants to let it out.

"Alex---"

"She's not answering me nor giving me damn details about it. So tell me how could I sign those papers. I never wanted to sign those papers, Maggie. I wanted to be with you. And now, now she's feeding you lies"

'you did, too' Maggie wanted to answer but she's trying to absorb everything that Alex is saying.

And that's when Maggie remembered that she didn't even look at the papers to check if Grace was telling the truth. She was blindsided by the fact that Alex broke her trust and she found someone to lean on, to trust someone, but in the end, the trust was also broken.

"Do you have feelings for her?" Maggie was appalled by the question, what a ridiculous chain of thought, Maggie thinks.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Do you?" Alex repeated, her voice suddenly broken, "Answer me, Maggie"

"No. No. I don't have"

"Good. Just asking. Goodnight" Alex said and smacked a kiss on Maggie's lips. Alex left and Maggie was left dumbfounded.

"What the fuck was that?" she asked to no one in particular, only the wind. She touched her lips and smiled to herself.

'Fuck you, Alex Danvers'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't hate me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mildly rough
> 
> Angry Maggie.

"That's my shirt, Maggie"

"No, that sunshine shirt is mine"

"No, that's mine"

"It's mine"

"You're mine" Alex concluded and pulled the shirt closer to her where Maggie was also pulled, not letting go of the shirt, and now they were facing each other, "Only mine" before Alex could do another turn around of things, Maggie forcefully pulled the shirt and ran toward the kitchen.

"It's mine now!" Alex laughed at the dorkiness, yeah, she remembers clearly that the shirt is hers and Maggie wore it when they first had a sleepover.

The door busted open and Lena arrived, furious. She threw her briefcase on the couch that almost hit Alex if she wasn't quick to duck.

"What the hell?"

"Who's --Oh, Lena, what are you doing here? Why is our door not locked?" Alex shrugged, walking toward the kitchen to offer water to Lena. Maggie hid the shirt under her shirt and stepped away from Alex.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm gonna sue that freaking lawyer!" she exclaimed, "I'm not gonna let her get away with this"

"Okay, calm down. What happened?" Maggie walked to where Lena is and ushered her to the couch. Alex was on the other side.

"I lost my case. That Sarmiento is getting into my nerves. My client is innocent!"

"Sarmiento, who?"

"Grace, Grace Sarmiento--- Oh" Lena facepalmed, "Have you talked to her? Both of you?"

"No, we haven't. She's not answering my calls"

"Did you know she told me about your divorce papers and I know it was forged but she's giving it to the judge tomorrow. She told me there's no way out" Lena was frustrated, the two were just looking at her.

"But we didn't sign it. Also, I haven't acknowledged it" Maggie answered, terrified of the uncertain thing she's feeling, "how's that?"

"Lena, I don't want it," Alex said, sincere of her words, dreading the consequences of her mistake, "please, do something"

Lena took out papers from her briefcase and gave them to Alex. Alex examined it and saw that her signature was on it, agreeing to the terms of the divorce.

"How did you---She got the 'a' wrong. I'm not, I did not---" Alex was panicking, her hands were shaky from holding the paper, Maggie took the papers from her and held her hand.

"Hey, it's okay. I know, I know you didn't. Lena, tell us what we can do"

Lena first explained how did she manage to get the papers and what will be the punishment for unlawful attorneys like Grace and the divorce would be void and Grace might go to prison for an ethical violation, admitting the fact that she has a personal interest to Maggie.

"And I already filed it. Now, we have to get her and you, Maggie Sawyer will arrest her" Lena said pointing at Maggie whose mouth was wide open, "yes, you"

"I mean, why?"

***

"I'm so glad you agreed to see me" Grace greeted when Maggie walked in.

"Yeah" Maggie sad and sat opposite of Grace, she's thinking of their plan, she's a cop, she knows how things like this would end up, but she wants to know the truth.

"Do you want anything? Coffee, tea?"

"No. I'm just here to talk," Maggie said seriously, Grace shifted in her seat, "Tell me"

"Maggie, you're scaring me" Maggie scowled, a lawyer like her shouldn't be scared of people like Maggie unless she did something wrong.

"I wanna get this straight, Grace" Maggie almost laughed at herself, she's not straight, the humor in her almost jumped out, "The papers?"

"Maggie"

"Did she really sign it?" Grace was quiet, she avoided Maggie's gaze, she was shuffling to her feet, eager to get out of the cafe, "I'm a cop, Grace"

"Yes, she signed it," Grace confirmed, "And it's been a month since these papers were signed. You not acknowledging it will only lead to the inevitable. Whether you like it or not, it's going to court and you will get the divorce"

Maggie took deep breathes, remembering what Lena has said to her. Concentrate.

"Can I see the papers?" Maggie asked, her hands were shaky, "Show me the papers"

"I can't. I sent it to court already. Hearing is tomorrow so I'll see you there" Grace hastily left and Maggie was frustrated.

Lena showed her the papers, how can she possibly give the papers to the court. She dialed Lena and confirmed about the papers. Something is not right.

***

"What do we do?" Alex asked, Maggie was quiet and Lena, too. Kara is on her way from her meeting.

"We go to court. Finish this" Maggie said, trying to keep uninterested, "How can we possibly know if we don't get to see it?"

"I am not going to court," Alex told them, Lena excused herself for them to talk but neither looks at each other.

"Yes, but the lawyer said we should" the lawyer, Alex smiled at the thought, Maggie didn't mention the name.

"Why is it so easy for you to say that?" Alex was hurt, Maggie avoided her gaze. Maggie wanted to shout, wanted to let it all out but she knows it will only hurt Alex and she can't stand the look on Alex's face when she's hurt.

When she sees the pain in Alex's face, she just wanna crumble and remove the pain. She wants to take it from Alex, but she's not showing it right now.

Maybe this is their now, maybe this the end of it. Maybe it's meant to be, maybe she was wrong. Maybe she can't save this relationship after all.

"Can you just calm down for a bit?" Maggie asked softly, "I will make an arrangement. I'll talk to Winn, see if he can do anything" she assured Alex.

Alex stood up in front of Maggie, furious and sad. Maggie looked at her in confusion. Unsure of what Alex is doing.

"Why can't you be angry with me?" Alex asked, she pushed Maggie gently, "Be angry with me, Maggs"

"Stop it, Alex" Maggie refused the offer, Alex was trying to grab her hands and jabbing it to herself, "Alex, stop!" but Alex couldn't stop.

"Be angry with me! Say what you wanna say!" for a final push, Maggie stood up and pushed Alex a bit hard. Alex was on the wall, and Maggie is walking toward her. Hurt written on her face.

Maggie was not angry, she's in pain. And Alex put her there. The person who's supposed to love her more than anything, the person who vowed to her, who promised her everything. Who swear in front of everyone that they will be together for better or for worse, that they will stick on each other's side.

But Maggie recognizes the feeling, she's in pain, but now, she's angry, she's mad, she's furious and she wants to let it out.

"You want me to be angry? Fine! I'm angry. I'm fucking angry, Alex! Because you hurt me!" Maggie shouted at her, angry tears streaming down her face, she wiped it away and looked at Alex, "Now, I'm angry. Is that what you want?!"

"Maggs," Alex was trying to comfort her, she couldn't move, it's like she was stuck on the wall, "Say it. Fucking say it, Maggie!"

Maggie's eyes were fierce, looking at Alex. Now, she's mad. And she can't stop herself now. She needs to let it out.

"You don't know what it really means to crawl into someone else’s life and stay there" Maggie's voice cracked, "You can’t see all the ways you’re going to get tangled, how you’re going to bond skin to skin" she laughed, a bitter laugh.

"Maggie" Alex wanted to hear more of Maggie's words. She wanted to understand Maggie because they really didn't talk about it. Maggie avoided the topic, she thinks it's okay but it's not. Alex wanted to prove herself, wanted to discern what Maggie feels.

She wants Maggie to still want her, but she doesn't know where to start because Maggie is not giving her a chance to let her in again. Maggie was blocking her way, she knows Maggie has built walls, she doesn't wanna let her guards down.

"And did you even think for once, how the idea of separating will feel in five years, in ten—in fifteen. Did you, Alex?!"

Alex has no words. Maggie turned her back to Alex and before she can finally do so, Alex grabbed her and kissed her. A rough, angry kiss that Maggie reciprocated.

Maggie twisted sideways, struggling to pull free from the feelings in her heart and her body, but Alex held her closer. Maggie gasped, letting her emotions take over. She tugged at Alex's shirt and harshly pulled her hair. Alex did the same. They were hastily moving toward their bedroom, not breaking the kiss. Pounding on the things on their way. The books on their table fell which made Lena sneak a peek but decided not to go further.

They were moving, trying to destroy each other's clothes. They got inside and locked the room.

Maggie yanks Alex toward the bed and roughly went on top of her. She was angry at everything, at everyone. She gripped Alex's hands and quickly bite her neck. Alex groaned, trying to break free from Maggie who was caging her with her thigh, which she grips painfully, and Maggie screams at the sensation, finally feeling the pain.

She clenches her jaw, getting a hold of Alex. She looked at her with hunger, desire, aiming to let Alex feel what she's feeling right now. Maggie is angry right now because that what Alex wants her to feel, and she's giving it to her.

Their chests were heaving in unison, hungry for more. Maggie devoured her lips as her grip from Alex tightened, sucking her lips like her life depended on it.

"Fuck you, Alex," Maggie said and grabbed Alex's lips with hers, she moaned "Fuck you" as she ripped Alex's clothes off. She threw her clothes on the floor and grab Alex's face, sucking on her bottom lip, tasting the blood from the cut on Alex's lips she inflicted.

Alex moaned at the sensation, she tackled Maggie and now she's on top. She grabbed Maggie's hands and pinned it to her side, doing the same thing Maggie did. She sucks Maggie's neck, hoping to leave a mark while the latter cursed under her breath, nails digging on Alex's bare back.

She pushed Alex, hard. She wants to be in control. She quickly removed Alex's underpants, biting on every exposed skin Alex has.

"Fuck...Maggie"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Traffic made me post this.

"Winn, what are we doing here?" Maggie asked, "It's too hot"

"Maybe you should let go of your hoodie, right? What happened to your neck?" Maggie was suddenly conscious, she rubbed her neck and ignored Winn. She remembered clearly what happened to her.

"I must have checked my pulse too hard" she commented, Winn looked at her unconvinced, "Why are we here again?"

"Okay, you asked for my help. This is what my help looks like"

Winn ushered Maggie toward a common room and shocked to see Grace sitting comfortably in the chair. She looked at Winn but the latter shrugged his shoulders and offered the seat to Maggie, opposite of Grace.

"Good morning, Mr. Winn Schott Jr., and you Maggie Sawyer" Grace greeted and offered a handshake, Maggie ignored it and rolled her eyes.

"Good morning, Atty. Grace, so my friend here needs assistance. I assumed you already know the case and you were somehow involved in it" Winn's words were firm, Grace cleared her throat, suddenly uneasy. "So, shall we proceed?"

Maggie just sat there, listening to both Winn and Grace, asking about their divorce papers. The argument was starting to heat up, so she stopped both of them.

"Stop! Stop it, both of you!" she yelled, Maggie has been angry since Alex asked her to be. And she's always been angry, not talking to anyone, except when she's at work. People can sense her feelings, they don't want to pry but they can see the lovely, scary detective has become scarier than ever before.

"Tell me the details and let's get this over with," she said, the two was suddenly quiet, not knowing where to start, "Do you have feelings for me, Grace?"

"Oh" was Winn's reaction, Grace stared at Maggie, unable to answer the question.

"I...I have...but I don't have anymore" Grace answered, her voice becoming soft, "I mean, I wanted to help you. I never thought I'll have these feelings for you but then I saw what it means to you, what your marriage to Alex really means to you and I don't wanna get in the way of it---I...I---"

"Then why did you forged the papers?! Why did you do what you didn't have to do?!"

"Okay, Maggie. Calm down" Winn said and was about to touch Maggie's shoulders when Maggie yanks his hand.

"Calm down?! Tell me how can I calm down?! My life is falling apart, I'm having a divorce that I didn't ask for in the first place! No one's coming to save me! My life is wrecked!" Maggie burst out with hurtful tears. Winn understood and felt the pain her friend is feeling. "And I think I'll always be like this. I'll always be alone because I deserved it! I'm such a mess! Everyone's going to leave me!"

Maggie opened the door to leave when she saw a familiar face. Her hands were in her mouth, trying to suppress a cry. She was about to touch Maggie when she pulled away and stared at her with hateful eyes.

"I hate you, Alex. I love you and I fucking hate you!" she shouted and ran away. Alex looked at Winn and Grace, asking what to do, but neither has an answer.

***

"Vasquez, have you seen the new file? You can check in with Donald. Keaton, get back to the station. Zolo, come with me. Let's get this son of a bitch" Maggie ordered to her handles, her handles were shocked, they couldn't move until Maggie yelled, "Go!" and they scattered around, trying to get back to their places.

There was hostage taking happening at National City Park and she offered to help. Wanted to get away for a while. As soon as they got there, she was aiming her gun at the hostage-taker, not wanting to talk. Maggie was walking toward the scene like she doesn't care about anything.

"Lower your gun" the hostage-taker ordered, the girl he's holding was crying, "Lower your gun or I'll shoot her"

Maggie was used to negotiating at times like this one, but she's not in the mood to negotiate. She walked closer to the guy and the girl, still aiming her gun. Zolo was calling her but she dismissed him.

"Detective, calm down. Listen" Zolo said but Maggie was not hearing any of it.

Maggie was inches away from the hostage-taker and the hostage. The gun was suddenly aimed at her but she rolled her eyes and quickly jabbed the guy, he loses grip of the gun and Maggie tackled him. Without any word, Maggie handcuffed the guy and ushered the girl to Zolo.

Everyone was astonished at her performance but still scared. Terrified that their officer is acting strange, brave but strange. It's not like her.

"Zolo, take the girl to the hospital. And----"

"Detective Sawyer, a word please?" her Captain told her and she obliged, not afraid of what the judgment would be.

They were in the car and no one is saying anything. Maggie removed her jacket and her Captain saw her bruises, she quickly put back her jacket and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" she asked, not letting her Captain know what's going on with her, and her life.

"The thing you did back there. That was out of line, one wrong move and you could have been shot. What happened to negotiating?"

"Well, things change. Not in the mood to talk anyway. I wanted to get this done"

"But you could have died!"

"But I'm here"

"Sawyer, the gun was pointed at your head. It was loaded, one false move and he could have gotten you. You could have died! What's happening to you?"

"John, I understand that you're concerned but I'm here. I'm good. I'll deal with it" Maggie was about to open the car when it was locked, "Open the door, John"

"You're suspended. Two weeks, Maggie. Give me the gun and the badge"

"What?!"

John has no words for Maggie, he took the gun and Maggie walked out of the car, angrily. This is her now, always angry. Always not in the mood, so impulsive.

She ran away from the scene, ran to where no one can find her, ran to where she can let all her anger go for a while, ran to where she can divert her attention to.

"You're early"

"Derek, come on. Spar with me"

She said and put her gloves on. She took off her jacket, bruises evident on her skin.

"Where did you get all that?"

"I punched the woods outside without any protection. Clear now? Spar with me"

***

"Alex, Alex, hey" Kara called out. She was packing her things, not wanting to hurt Maggie anymore.

After Grace has been given sanction by the court and their divorce not processed, courtesy of Winn, Maggie decided not to talk to anyone of them. Maggie comes and gets home without saying a word. Nothing of any conversation has been made and Alex realized it now. That she has caused Maggie too much pain and she doesn't wanna do it anymore.

"She'll be fine without me. I've done too much, I can't do it anymore. I wanted her to heal" Alex argued and it was true. She doesn't wanna let Maggie feel pain again by living under the same roof.

Maggie was not the same anymore and she knows that she had something to do with it. She made Maggie that way and she regrets it. But it's too late to regret what damage she has done to Maggie.

Things will never be the same.

"Alex, I told mom"

"What? Why? No. She'll be worried, she's gonna hate me because I hurt Maggie"

"No, Alex. You know mom. She's on her way. She wanted to talk to both of you"

Alex cried while fixing her things. She can't undo it anymore. She can't save their relationship, her marriage with Maggie is broken down. She's a mess and she did this mess.

The door busted open and Maggie entered. Covered in her police jacket. She nods at Kara and saw the bags on the floor, Alex smiled at her but she dismissed it. She looked at the bags and recognized it, but she didn't say a thing and closed the door of their bedroom; her bedroom since she decided to not talk to anyone.

"Alexandra, Kara"

"Mom" Kara hugged Eliza and left for them to talk.

Alex went to the couch where her mom followed. She doesn't know what to say. As soon as they both sat down, Alex came crying to her mother's shoulders, apologizing for the mistake she's done.

"I'm so sorry, mom. I'm so sorry" Eliza was rubbing Alex's back, trying to comfort her. She let Alex cry her heart out, she didn't say anything until Alex was finished and ready to hear her mother's lecture.

"Are you ready to hear me out?" Eliza asked, wiping the tears from Alex's face. Alex nods, she hugged the cushion and looked at her mom, waiting for words of wisdom.

"Yeah, I'm ready"

"I understand that you have your reasons and explanations for what happened but I want to ask you, Alex. Have you ask Maggie for forgiveness?"

Alex shook her head, she hasn't. 

"I haven't. We never had the chance to talk about it. I think she doesn't wanna hear me. It's been weeks since the divorce was voided. And she has not uttered any word after that. She's coming home late and I---I saw her body covered with bruises and I can't do anything about it. I don't know, mom. I don't know what to do"

"Is that why you're packing all your things?"

"I feel like I'm constantly hurting Maggie just by staying here" Alex admitted, her mom nods, "I don't wanna be a burden anymore. I want her to heal. I want her to want me the same way but I made a mistake and it will forever punish me for destroying the only thing that matters to me. You know besides Kara and you, mom"

"I understand you, Alex. But what I want to know is why you did it and I'm not asking you to tell it to me but to say it to Maggie. Help her understand, help her and yourself. Talk to her"

"Maybe we don't fit together. I mean, the edges get rough and sometimes soft and the universe has gotten tired of me. Maybe it's not meant to be" Alex chuckled, not really hearing the words coming out of her mouth.

"Alex, nobody’s lives just fit together,” Eliza said, holding Alex's hand, squeezing to let her know that she understands. Eliza thinks for a while, remembering the lines from a book she just read, “Fitting together is something you work at. It’s something you make happen—because you love each other."

"But, I keep trying and trying but I just couldn't. I think I'm failing"

"Alex, we only fail when we stop trying"

"But---"

"No buts, Alex. I'll talk to her in a bit. Fix yourself" Eliza said and left Alex on the couch.

She went to knock on Maggie's bedroom. Eliza turned the knob and shocked to see Maggie aiding her wounds. Her body is covered with bruises like what Alex said and she has cut on her lower lip.

Eliza felt bad for her daughters, she doesn't wanna see them like this. She loves her daughters, she smiled at the memory of her and Maggie. She was asking Maggie to call her mom if she wanted to, it took a while but Maggie got used to it.

"Need some help?"

"Mom"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some of the lines from Landline by Rainbow Rowell.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so sad this update stayed on my notes for four days. I'm not trying to hurt you. I was hurt, too.

Eliza was treating Maggie's bruises while the latter winced in pain. She flinched at every contact but Eliza has been so understanding, she was quiet while tending Maggie.

"Does it hurt?" Eliza finally asked, cleaning the cut on Maggie's lips.

"My face hurts, my body hurts, and my heart aches"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You're asking me if I want to talk about it with you or to talk about it with...Alex?" Eliza sighed, organizing the first aid kit, Maggie suddenly regretted her tone, "I'm sorry"

"No, you don't have to be. I am sorry I wasn't there for the two of you. It must have been hard but I'm here now and if you wanna talk about it, I'll listen"

The room fell silent. Maggie was changing her clothes and Eliza was roaming their bedroom. She sees their pictures and the things she gifted her daughters. They were so happy, what could possibly go wrong?

She doesn't wanna take sides because that would be inappropriate. She loves both of them and she needs to hear from their sides of the story.

Kara warned her but Eliza is their mom, and moms do the best thing her kid would want. She wants her kids to be safe and happy. She wanna feel like a mom again to her daughters after being away for a year.

"Mom?" Maggie called, not really sure what to ask Eliza.

"Yes, dear?"

"You think I wasn't enough? You think maybe you were all wrong to trust me to take care of Alex? Maybe we don't fit together and we didn't see that" Eliza smiled, she heard the same comment Alex made a while ago.

"Nobody's lives just fit together, Maggie. You work it out" Eliza said, walking toward her, "you work it out because you love each other"

"I don't know what to feel exactly" Maggie admitted, her mind is clouded, "I'm tired, I'm angry, and right now, I-I...cacan't feel any love because all I feel is pain because she doesn't want me anymore and I'm afraid that I-I can't feel the same way...right now"

"I understand you, Maggie. I want you to know that I'm here" Maggie hugged Eliza while she broke down and cry. Careful not to further bruise her body, "If you need time to be alone, I'll take Alex with me"

Maggie was shocked, she doesn't know what to say. Alex is leaving...again. And they haven't worked out anything since she got back.

That's Alex, she leaves when things get rough, but right now, Maggie doesn't want to stop her because she wanted to heal, and she wants Eliza to understand that she's not kicking her out.

"You haven't answered me if I was enough" Maggie repeated, breaking the hug. She wiped her tears and looked at the floor. Her tears starting to fall again.

"Maggie," Eliza sounded upbeat, she raised Maggie's head and stared at her, "We're never enough for somebody, right? We just get contented and satisfied"

Maggie nods, biting the inside of her cheeks. So thankful that Eliza has been so understanding toward both of them. She fixed Maggie's hair and offered a warm smile.

"I'll cook dinner. You rest, we eat together and when you're ready, you just tell me. I'll take Alex with me without any doubt and giver her a smack in the head she deserves" Maggie laughed and hugged Eliza.

"Thank you, mom"

"Maggie, would you mind telling me where did you get all that?"

Maggie sat on the bed where Eliza followed her. She can't look straight into her eyes. She held Eliza's hands, squeezing it, waiting for another word.

"If you don't---"

"No," Maggie quickly answered, "So, I met an old friend of mine, you remember Derek?"

"Yeah, You and Alex were friends with him. That guy that works in a boxing gym. Oh"

"Yeah, yeah, that. I promise I promise I will not see him again"

"I love you, dear. Please, stop hurting yourself"

"I will. Thanks, mom. Love you too"

***

Eliza prepared the table for dinner while Alex packs her things with Kara. Maggie was still inside her room.

"Kara, would you mind calling Maggie? Dinner's ready"

Kara obliged and Eliza went to Alex. At times like this, she just wants everyone to be at peace. She wanted to help both of them.

"You can talk to her after dinner. You don't have to say anything during"

"I was so stupid, mom. I was so stupid. I mean, what was I thinking?" Alex sobs, covering her face, "I'm so stupid"

"Alex"

"Will you help her understand?"

"Alex, only you can help her. Come on, let's eat dinner first"

Maggie and Kara walked out of the room and proceeded in the kitchen. Alex and Eliza followed. Eliza sits in the middle, Kara and Maggie were beside each other and Alex was on the opposite side.

No one dares to talk and if there's an elephant in the room, they chose to ignore it. Alex can't help but stare at the bruises on Maggie's arms and the latter dismissed the concerned look from her, not letting Alex know where did those come from.

"Okay, I'm done eating. I'll see you guys, later" Kara said and walked out, "I'll be in the living room"

Eliza nods and cleared her throat. Waiting for both her daughters to talk but no one dared to. She got up without saying any word after she finished her food and left Alex and Maggie who were trying to ignore each other while pretending to eat from their already empty plate.

"Where did those come from?" Alex asked, referring to Maggie's bruises, "Have you been fighting?"

Maggie scowled, ignoring Alex's queries. They stared at each other for so long it's like they have forgotten to breathe.

"I'm leaving, Maggs"

"I know"

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Maggie rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry"

"Look, I know you, Alex. That's you, that's your thing. You leave when things get difficult when it doesn't suit your needs. You always leave. So, yeah. That's all I have to say" Maggie crossed her arms, she averted her gaze to the floor, inhaling deep breathes.

"Do you still...love me?" Alex courageously asked, daring Maggie to look at her, "Do you still want me in your life?"

"Now you're the one to ask. What do you think, Alex? Are you gonna trick me...again?!" Maggie yelled, clenching her fist. Alex was stunned at the reaction but kept her composure.

"I just want to know if I could still come back here. Come back to you. That's all I want to know. Make sure you'll still want me"

"Did you ask yourself that question? You're unbelievable. Know what, I'm done here. I can't listen to you anymore. I can't" Maggie stood up and threw her napkin on the table, but before she could walk out, Alex spoke.

"Because part of me does want to trick you. Part of me wants to say whatever I have to say to make sure you’ll still want me. I want to tell you that it’ll be different—better. That I’ll be more sensitive, that I’ll compromise more. But I won’t be, Maggie, I know I won’t be, right now it won't. And I don’t want to trick you. Nothing is ever going to change"

"You left me, Alex. And you're leaving again because that's what you do. And if you're asking if someday you'll come back to me and I'll come back to you? Please, not everyone who leaves has something to come back to"

Maggie finally said and walked out of the kitchen. She saw Eliza and Kara waiting and she ignored them and went inside her room.

Alex was left dumbfounded. She went to her mom and got her things and went outside to reach for her mom's car. She didn't say anything until their ride home to Midvale. Her mom was quiet, Kara was left to look out for Maggie.

They arrived at Midvale and she ran straight to where she and Kara's room are. She was waiting for a call or a text from Maggie but she received nothing. She wants Maggie to still want her but Maggie gave a vague answer about the question and Alex was drowning herself in alcohol.

Her phone buzzed and Maggie texted her. She was scared to see what the message was. Scared to see that it was finally goodbye for them. Terrified of how it would look like without Maggie by her side.

Maybe Maggie was right, she didn't think for once what it would be like for both of them. She didn't realize how the feeling of separating will feel in five years, ten, or fifteen. She didn't need to wait for five years because right now, right now she's feeling it and she wants it to stop but she couldn't.

She read the text and cried a lot more.

'See you around, Danvers'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know you don't like this update, but I'm gonna give you something to look forward to.
> 
> From one of my ongoing sanvers au. Let me help you all. :)) Here's a glimpse.
> 
> \----------  
You think we're together on those piles of earth?"
> 
> "Maybe? Maybe you're not a cop, maybe I'm not an agent. We have different representations on different piles of earth but I know one thing" she said and held my hand close to her heart, "I know that we're soulmates and no matter where earth that is. We will find each other eventually"
> 
> "What if someone comes along the way and you have to choose?"
> 
> "I wouldn't have to think about it, Maggs. I'd choose you"
> 
> \----- SanversIsEndgame


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to interrupt your reading of Soft Sanvers fic. I am reading those, too. What fic can you recommend? Thank you. Here's an update!

Maggie woke up with a loud knocking on the door. She looked at the clock and saw that it's 12:00 AM. She reluctantly got up and put her robe on. A burglar must be so nice to be knocking to a victim's door before doing some unimaginable things.

She was about to get her gun when she remembered she was suspended. She peeked at the peephole and was surprised to see someone standing there.

She must be imagining. Alex was in her front door. It has been two weeks since Alex left with Eliza. She halfway opened the door which startled Alex.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hey"

"Hey, you. It's midnight, what are you doing here?"

"I just want to... I just...can I come inside?" Maggie stepped outside and close the door behind to which Alex scoffed, "Right. Okay"

"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Maggie crossed her arms and looked at Alex who can't seem to look at her, "Alex"

"I just...Will you listen to me?" Alex pleaded, Maggie nods, "No interruption? Let me finish?"

"Why?"

"Just a few minutes, Maggie" her name sounded like a strange word coming out of Alex's hair, "Just hear me out and I promise, I'll be out of your hair"

"Okay. I'm listening"

"You know, Mom told me, I mean, she asked me if I asked you for forgiveness. Then, I said I haven't because I was scared. Now, now I'm here. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Maggie. I just want to tell you that, I'm sorry" Alex stifled a cry, looking up to not let the tears fall, "That I'm really, really sorry. I am so sorry. I was stupid, you know"

"No, you're not. You're not stupid, Alex" Maggie said and was about to touch Alex's shoulders to assure her but she stopped herself and just combed her hair, "Sorry"

"I hurt you and nothing is ever gonna change that. I know that. But I really...I really just wanna say sorry to you" Alex ended, waiting for Maggie to say something.

Maggie clenched her jaw, thinking of better ways to respond but she found none. She looked at the floor and looked at Alex. Her words seem to caught up in her throat.

"Yeah, I get it, Alex," Maggie said and went to the door, she was about to turn the knob when Alex spoke again.

"You never know when it’s going to be the last time you see somebody, and you don’t want to miss your chance to say goodbye"

Maggie sighed and turned toward Alex. Reluctantly nodding her head, agreeing to what Alex has said.

"You taught me everything, Alex. You helped me conquered my past, the fears of letting someone in, not walking out on someone who wants to talk? You helped me get all through that, and I'm grateful for it"

"You get me to be who I am, Maggs" Alex was crying, "And I'm so...so...sorry. I'll see you soon" Alex said and hugged Maggie, a long and lingering hug, not wanting to let go. She kissed Maggie's temple and Maggie can't help but sob to the touch.

She let go of the hug and caressed Alex's cheek. Wiping both their tears.

"I'll see you soon, Danvers" soon enough, their foreheads were touching and Maggie was the first one to move away.

"Wait for me" was Alex's final words before turning her back to Maggie and walking away...again.

***

"Great job, Detective!"

"Yeah, two months after being suspended and I feel like a rookie...again"

"Rookie with five cases per week. Wow, you are a rookie!"

"Shut up, Vasquez"

"Ah, I could use a drink. You want in?" Maggie looked at the files on her desk and glanced at Vasquez who seemed to be examining her.

"Are you checking me out?" Maggie teased, "I'll tell your girlfriend that"

"Shut up, Sawyer. I was just thinking" Vasquez said and sat on Maggie's desk, "Nevermind. So, are you in?"

"Sure. I'll meet you later. Just have to give this case to Captain John"

Maggie knocked on John's office and she was welcomed warmly by him. She gave the file to John and was about to exit when John called her.

"Detective" she turned around and crossed her arms. A lecture from John...again is not what she needs right now, "Are you alright?"

She was suspended for two weeks after the hostage-taking incident but she has no beef with her captain. He was like a father to him, a father he never had. 

Two months have passed without Alex, Kara barely shows up and Lena, too. Winn has to travel every week for his work and Maggie was alone. But in her work, she was never alone.

"Yes, I am. Why, why do you ask? I mean, no offense, John"

"Detective, calm down. I was just asking"

Maggie took a deep breath and sat opposite of John. She played with papers on the desk by scanning them but not really looking for something.

"Maggie" Maggie rolled her eyes, expecting the inevitable words of John that will hit her heart later when she thinks about it.

"You called me Maggie. I am to hear your lecture" Maggie sighed and stared at John, waiting for a full-blown lecture from her captain.

"No, you are not gonna hear a lecture from me. I was just asking if you're okay and---"

"I'm okay. I'm fine. Vasquez asked me if I could go to the bar with her later tonight"

"Good, that's good"

"She's trying to be my wing woman, you know?"

"Maggie, I know you want to heal. I can see that, and you're healing. You have to work on yourself. I'm here for you. We're all here for you"

"Wow" Maggie stood up and was ready to turn her back on John when he called her again, "I'm going now"

"I'll see you at the bar later"

"Okay. I'll see you, John"

***

Alex sat on her empty apartment, having a video call with Kara is the best stress reliever she can get.

"Alex, I missed you. How are you? How's the UK?"

"I don't wanna do this anymore" Alex whined, sipping on her cup of coffee, "I wanna go back"

"Alex, she's okay. I'm keeping an eye on her. You continue your job and come back" Kara sighed and made that puppy eyes Alex could not resist.

"Fine. It's gonna be long"

"Yeah. It's gonna be long. Take care, okay?"

"You too, and Mom" Kara understood because Alex hesitate to say another name, "your phone's lighting up"

"Oh, it's Lena. I'll call you later, Alex. Love you"

"Love you, too"

Alex said and ended the video call. She looked at her screen and it was a picture of her and Maggie. All happy and giggling. She was an idiot to expect Maggie to call her when she's miles away and she changed her number.

She's taking a job as an agent because Eliza insisted. She needed time away, both of them. So she was sent to the UK to train and eventually got the job.

"It's gonna be two long years" she sighed and collapsed on the bed. She closed her eyes and tried to think of what she can do while she's away.

She needs to do this for both of them. For Maggie.

***

"I'm sorry, I'm not interested"

"Oh, I am seeing someone"

"Do you like murder stories?"

"Do you kill with-----what?"

"Okay, stop it. Miss whatever your name is you can go now, bye" Vasquez said and shooed the woman away before Maggie does.

"I thought you said you were trying to be my wing woman?" Maggie said and chugged on her beer.

"The ring," Vasquez said and pointed at Maggie's finger, where the wedding ring is evident, "you can't find someone if you wear that. Just for tonight, let yourself be happy. I'll get back to you later"

Maggie looked at the ring and played with it. Removing, inserting, removing, inserting, and eventually removing to stare at it. Remembering the vows, remembering the wedding, and remembering Alex.

She took out a necklace chain and made the ring a pendant. Wearing it on her finger doesn't make sense anymore because Alex and she had separated.

"Is this seat taken?"

"John!" Maggie exclaimed, surprised that her captain really went to the bar, "You're here. Wow"

"Vasquez told me" they fell silent and Maggie played with her ring which was now a necklace, "Do you want me to be your wingman?"

"No" Maggie laughed and playfully punched her captain's shoulder, "I don't need another one right now"

"Why is that?"

"Because like what you said I’m still healing. I’m still working on myself. I’m still trying to bring my old heart back. And I’m still trying to find a way to fix everything people broke in me. I’m still trying to heal the wounds inside my heart. I’m still trying to be brave again. To trust again. To love again" she said and drank her last glass of alcohol.

She waved at John and proceeded to the dancefloor to join Vasquez and her girlfriend Lucy.

Maybe, in order to heal. She needs the dance after all.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just woke up. This graveyard shift in my work is killing me. Haven't had enough sleep. Ugh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy International Lezbienz day!
> 
> I miss our resident lesbian, Maggie Sawyer.

Three years later...  
\--

Maggie scanned her apartment and noticed the lines she made three years ago. The masking tapes were all worn out and dirty from specks of dust. Sweeping the floor, she realized she doesn't need those lines anymore.

She need not be reminded of what those lines were and what that meant in the last three years. She's alone and she owns the apartment...their apartment.

There was a knock on the door and she remembered she asked Lena to come and talk about maybe selling the apartment because as per time goes, Alex goes MIA and Kara nor Lena gave reports about it.

Eliza redirected all Maggie's questions so the latter could not further press. Winn was on her side but he has no ideas, too. She opened the door and Lena was not the one standing in front of her.

She quickly closed the door not letting the person speak. She counted 1...2..3 and steadied her nerves until she opened it again and looked at the person from head to toe, counting 1-10 in her mind, and after that...she closed the door again.

There was another knock on the door. She stood still until she heard the person speak.

"If you're gonna open and close this door again, I'll just leave"

She didn't open the door. She leaned onto it holding the broom and the dustpan.

"What are you doing here, Alex?"

"Maggie, open the door"

Again, Maggie counted from 1-10 because that's what Winn has taught her. To count from 1 to 10 and realize what her actions would be. He told him that she has to meditate at least for 10 seconds to see if she can handle what's in front of her. Basically, what Winn did was to prepare her for this moment. After three long years, the time has come and she's ready...she thought.

When Alex comes back and talks to her again.

"10"

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Maggie heaved a sigh and opened the door, slowly looking up to see the woman who went MIA for three years without any traces.

Alex stared at her, waiting for another closing of the door. She can't help but admire the beauty that lies in front of her.

"Alex?"

"Yeah, ugh. Hi?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come inside?"

"10 seconds," Maggie said, Alex was confused but realized what Maggie was doing when she closed her eyes and counted silently, "Okay"

Maggie led the way inside the apartment. Alex scanned the room but there were no other changes except for the abundance of bonsai trees on the table.

Maggie kept her cleaning materials and looked at Alex who was sitting comfortably on the couch. Maggie sat on the other side, her hands on her head leaning on the armrest, studying Alex.

Her hair was longer, the same hairdo she saw when Alex left, Alex seemed built, rather than that, she's still beautiful, Maggie thought.

"Did you miss me?" Maggie asked, curling her hair with her fingers, waiting for Alex who seemed to be panicking at the question.

Alex stared at her and smiled.

"Did you?" Alex asked, returning the question.

"Question cannot be answered by another question," Maggie said suppressing a smile, "Yeah, I did. I do, I think"

The room fell silent and Alex was examining Maggie's finger who seemed to be missing a material she wants to see. 

Maggie smirked and looked at Alex who seemed to be playing with the piece she wanted Maggie to be wearing at this very moment.

"Where have you been?"

"UK" Maggie was shocked and looked at Alex for confirmation, "Yeah, UK"

"Okay, you can leave now, Alex," Maggie told her and crossed her arms, "No, don't"

Alex laughed at the reaction but stopped herself before Maggie decides to actually kick her out.

The room was quiet again. No one dares to speak or move but the atmosphere was light, not heavy and they both can feel it.

It was quiet until someone was abruptly knocking at the door and Alex got alert which awed Maggie. Alex's reflexes were good and Maggie saw her touch the back of her waist and she realized it was a gun.

Maggie stood up, crossed arms and was circling Alex who was confused about the reaction.

"You have a gun" Maggie said and stopped in front of Alex, "Well, don't bother because that's probably Lena"

Maggie opened the door and turns out that it was Lena and Kara.

"We're getting married!" they said in unison and Maggie was amazed, she looked behind her which the two followed and saw Alex standing, eyes wide staring at them.

"Alex!" Kara ran her way toward Alex and Lena was left with Maggie with a quizzing look.

"She didn't know Alex's here?" Maggie asked, "Well, I don't either. Come in, tell us about your wedding plans"

***

Lena and Maggie were at the dining table while Kara and Alex were in the living room.

"How are you?" Lena asked, taking the glass of water Maggie offered, "I mean, that she's here and she's back. How are you feeling?"

"I think I'm good" Maggie answered, stealing glances from where she can spot Alex and Kara giggling together, "Yeah, I'm good"

"You know what I told Winn last night when he asked if me if I would accept Alex if she comes back?" Maggie smiled remembering the exact same words she told Winn last night. Winn has been helpful toward her healing, he was there for her, always trying to cheer up Maggie. Just by being there and listening, he helped Maggie accept and heal.

Winn is the reason she can smile at the sight of Alex inside their apartment and will be the reason she's ready to forgive herself and forgive Alex the moment she realized what happened between their marriage.

"What's your answer?"

Maggie chuckles, she looked at the ring on Lena's finger and touched her own wedding ring that she made as a pendant a few years ago.

"I'm sorry. This was your big day and you're here to celebrate but I'm making it about myself"

"Oh, shut up, Sawyer. You know Kara. We have an engagement party tomorrow night. She just wanted to let you know beforehand because you might scold us both for not telling you after the big fight we had in front of you"

"Congratulations, Lena. I'm happy for both of you" Lena offered a hug and Maggie obliged, her Little Danvers and Little Luthor are getting married and she's the happiest compared to someone who just got answered 'yes' after asking someone to marry them.

"So, what's your answer?" Lena asked after breaking the hug. They both looked at the women on the couch and smiled at the sight of them.

Alex looked back and smiled which caught Maggie off guard. Same as Lena smiling to Kara who seemed to be happy being here and announcing their wedding.

"I told Winn that after all these years, I still love her, Alex I mean," she said, gazing at Alex who's oblivious of what Maggie was saying, "The person who hurt me. And last night, I wished that I wanted to see her and see if I can talk to her. To see if we can try again"

"Your wish was granted. I guess love is sweeter the second time around"

"Yeah, I guess so. Maybe?"


	16. Chapter 16

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The clock sings back as Maggie stayed in the bedroom, urging herself to get ready for Kara and Lena's engagement party.

She's happy for them. She really is. The truth is, she doesn't know if she will be able to take it all in. Alex being hereafter three long years appeared okay but deep down, she wanted answers but is too scared to ask.

There was a knock at the door and Maggie knew who it is.

"Maggie?"

"Yeah?" she weakly answered, looking at the dress beside her, "You should go"

"Are you okay?" she scoffed, is she okay? In this state, no one's gonna be okay.

"Yeah. Just fixing my things"

"Are you sure you're coming? You want me to wait outside?"

"No, Danvers. It's fine. Just have to check on some things. I'll see you there"

Alex got silent and Maggie heard footsteps away from the bedroom and she heard the door locked. A few minutes later, she was at the corner of the bed, running her hands through her hair, letting herself cry.

Is she okay? What a really absurd thing to ask to someone you left without leaving anything behind, she thought. She laughed at herself, Winn didn't prepare her for this. Those three years, she knew she's okay, she's fine but seeing Alex again, that's far from being okay.

She grabbed her dress and changed into it. She doesn't wanna disappoint Kara, especially Lena who has been there for her every step of the way. All she needs to do is pretend because the party is not about her, it's about her two friends being engaged and she should be happy for them.

***

Alex was waiting outside the venue with a flower in her hand. She's been calling Maggie but the latter was not answering.

"Alex, are you gonna come inside?"

"Mom" Alex hid the flower behind her but Eliza already saw it, "Hey, yeah. I'm just waiting for Maggie"

"Okay. I'll see you later. It's cold, wear your jacket" Eliza said and hugged Alex before entering the venue.

Alex nodded to her mom and looked at her watch. It's late and the party's starting soon. Her heart jumped out when she saw a police car stopped in front of her. It was Maggie...and she's not wearing her dress.

"Danvers," Maggie said, acknowledging Alex, "Thanks, Vasquez. Drive safely" the police car drove away and they were staring at each other.

"You still clean up nice" Maggie commented which made Alex blushed and gave the flower to Maggie, "Gee. Thanks. Let's go?"

Alex expected Maggie to offer her arm and go together inside, instead, Maggie started walking first and Alex was left at the entrance. Maggie looked back and saw Alex's glassy eyes. She went to her and offered her arm.

"Come on" Maggie smiled which made Alex's heart flutter and they went together inside.

Alex missed the feeling but something is definitely off. She needs to talk to Maggie after the party, that is what she knows she should do.

They went inside and were welcomed by warm hugs and wide smiles from the engaged couple. Lena noticed Maggie's distant approach but Maggie assured her that everything is fine. Besides, this night is about Kara and Lena.

Maggie went straight to where the drinks are being served and poured herself some.

"Do you want me here or should I just distance myself until you talk to me again?"

"Hey, Alex" Maggie gave a glass of wine to Alex which the latter accepted but shook her head at Maggie's reaction.

"Why aren't you in your dress?"

"I went to the precinct to cover some paperwork, I forgot to wear my dress" Maggie reasoned out and poured herself some more drinks, "Sorry"

"Do you wanna go home now?" Alex was concerned, she noticed the flower was gone and Maggie is getting tipsy, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes I am. I'm just gonna go to the bathroom"

Maggie walked out holding her glass of wine while Alex followed. She wants to make sure Maggie is fine, she wants Maggie to be fine.

As soon as Maggie went inside the cubicle without noticing Alex, it was shut and all Alex heard was faint sobbing coming from Maggie.

Alex locked the bathroom door and waited for the sobbing to stop.

"Maggie?"

"Leave me alone, Alex"

Alex got silent, debating whether to stay or leave just what Maggie said. But she left long enough and she doesn't wanna do it again. Not with Maggie nor with anyone. She doesn't wanna be the 'the one that got away', she wants to stay and get back to Maggie.

She learned her lesson in the UK when no one else was beside her. She trained to be an agent of a secret organization, learned to be alone, to work alone, and do not have someone to come home to.

She's back and she wants to take everything back to her. She wants Maggie. She wanna get back to Maggie and live a real, full, happy life. Because with Maggie by her side, everything is possible.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked, she heard a flush and the door opened which revealed Maggie with red puffy eyes and her glass was empty.

Maggie ignored her and went to the sink to wash her hands. Alex did the same, staring at Maggie who splashed her face with water and looked at the image in the mirror. Maggie scoffed and looked at Alex.

"Am I okay? Are you kidding?" Maggie scowled at her, "You cheated on me, you left, you came back then you left again without any word, without any assurance of you coming back and after three years. Here you are again. Standing in front of me, asking if I'm okay. Are you sure you want me to answer that?"

"Maggie. I thought yesterday..."

"No, yesterday was different. I was fine because Winn taught me how to act but when I came to realized what's really happening, it dawned to me that I was not okay, Alex! I am not okay!" Maggie shouted and steadied herself by holding on to the sink.

"Maggs..."

"Save it, Danvers. I don't wanna hear any apologies if you don't know how to act on it" Maggie finished and was about to leave when Alex spoke.

"If you aren't ready to talk yet, that's okay. But, don't start the conversation then walk away. Please" but Maggie heard nothing and continued walking out the door, Alex was stunned. 

Maggie is not okay and it's her fault. It will always be her fault.

***

"Hey" Alex greeted as soon as Maggie walked in the kitchen, "I made breakfast"

"I have breakfast at the office"

"Oh, okay. So, what time is your out?"

"8" was Maggie's answer and Alex felt the refusal to the conversation, "Am I indifferent to you when we were together?"

"Yeah. I guess so" Alex answered because Maggie was, she comes home late and sometimes forgot that she has a wife to come home to.

"Am I distant?"

"Yeah?" Alex was confused, Maggie looked at her, "Do you want to talk?"

"No. Sorry, I gotta go," Maggie said and before she comes out the door, Alex grabbed her hand and gave her a paper bag, filled with Tupperware of the breakfast she made for Maggie.

Alex knows Maggie doesn't have breakfast in the office. Those were just coffee and donuts for cops but not real breakfast. Maggie took the bag and nodded at Alex who smiled at her.

"I have a job, too. If you want to know about it, I think. Eat your breakfast"

"Yeah. Thanks, Danvers"


	17. Chapter 17

"Candles, dinner, flowers, and Gertrude," Alex says to the puppy sleeping on the couch, she's preparing a candlelit dinner for Maggie and a surprise for her.

Two weeks have gone so fast that Alex was always left alone and Maggie has been avoiding her even if they were together in their apartment. Alex always makes plans but Maggie always finds a way to cancel it. But she understands, she has her job, too which Maggie didn't know about because it's a secret organization.

"Hey, there sleepy child. Maggie is on the way, I think. It's past 8, she should be here really soon" Alex held the puppy in her hands and made it sleep in her lap, she was tired. they both are.

Alex woke up with the puppy's soft barking. She looked at her watch and saw that it was already 11 pm. Maggie hasn't come home yet.

"Are you hungry? Come on" Alex held the puppy and went to the kitchen, "Let's eat"

Alex was busy preparing for her and Gertrude she didn't notice someone staring at her until she heard someone clearing their throat.

"Maggie"

"Hey, Alex and hey..." Maggie was looking at the puppy and Alex happily carried Gertrude toward her, "what's your name?" Maggie lovingly looked at the dog, petting it and Alex was just happy.

"Her name's Gertrude. You know, I thought, yeah, she's our puppy. Say hi to Mom--Maggie" they were busy petting Gertrude until she jumped from Alex's and ran to the couch.

"What're all these?" Maggie asked, hiding the urge to smile at the kitchen set, "I mean, what's the occasion?"

"Ugh, I don't know. In celebration of Gertrude?"

"Gertrude, huh?" Maggie said putting her police jacket on the chair, "I'm sorry I was home late. Got caught up in a meeting and then we chased a car, arrested a drunk dude, and here I am"

Alex was silent, she was shocked. Maggie told her how was her day was and she didn't even ask. She couldn't speak, Maggie's talking to her.

"Are you hungry?" Alex asked when she recovered, Maggie nodded and they ate talking about Maggie's exhausting day and how Gertrude ended up in their apartment.

Alex felt happy that moment. Maggie's talking to her, they have a puppy, they're eating dinner and most importantly, Maggie's looking at her the same way again.

"Maggs"

"Uhmm?"

"Nothing"

"Come on, Danvers. Spill"

"Are we good?"

It took seconds before Maggie answered and Alex lost hope.

"We're okay" Maggie bluntly said while covering her face. Minutes passed and neither of them spoke a word. Maggie started clearing off her plate and Alex’s, too.

They were both at the sink holding their plates, inches away from each other. Maggie put her hand on the dishwashing liquid where she caught Alex’s hand, too.

“I’m sorry,” Maggie said and let go of Alex’s hand. Alex just nod and look at Maggie who was staring intently at her.

” Is there something wrong?”

” I’m sorry” Maggie repeated, Alex furrowed her eyebrows, confused at Maggie’s actions, ”I’m sorry that I was indifferent to you. I’m sorry that I was distant” and Maggie started crying on Alex’s shoulders, Alex put down the dishwashing liquid and held Maggie in her arms.

” Hey, it’s fine. No need to be sorry. Calm down, Maggs” Alex soothed her, ”Look at me”

Maggie obeyed, looking at Alex’s eyes. A look of love they both missed. The look that sends shivers down her spine, concern written in both their faces. Alex was speaking but Maggie was hearing none of it. She was awestruck at the sight of Alex.

Alex who made her realize that love is pain but also, love is there and it never really goes away. That all they both need is forgiveness. Maggie to forgive Alex and forgive herself.

Maggie cupped Alex’s face. Alex as shocked as she is, stopped talking. They both look at each other, waiting, longing for that touch, inching their way toward each other’s lips. They both closed their eyes, ready for that magical moment when a bark stopped them from having it.

*arf arf*

They both laughed and Maggie walked toward Gertrude. Alex was left to do the dishes.

***

Alex woke up at the sight of Maggie sleeping peacefully, facing her. She smiled and caressed Maggie’s cheek.

Last night was a good night. It wasn’t much but they talked all night and played with Gertrude. She giggled remembering how she openly told Maggie about her secret organization and her experience in the UK. Mostly, it was all about her. Maggie inputs some of her stories in between and Alex was eager to hear everything.

Maggie stirred, she slowly opened her eyes and found Alex admiring her. She showed her dimples and covered her face with the blanket, laughing.

“Didn’t Eliza told you it’s rude to stare at people?”

“Is it rude when your admiring your wife—-I mean, one of the most beautiful faces you have there” Alex retreated, suddenly scared of what Maggie might think. Maggie’s laugh died, she looked at Alex and pouted.

“You too,” Maggie said and smiled, Alex shut her eyes and gathered every breath she can.

"I have to tell you something," said Alex. She positioned herself lying on her stomach while lying still, "I don't know if you're ready or if you have forgiven me but I am willing to take the risk"

"What is it?"

"I know I was a jerk, a shit, the greatest liar you've met because of that thing that I did in the past. Maggie----"

"Alex, you're not---"

"Wait, let me finish. Please"

Maggie saw the sincerest please Alex has offered her, the moment she asked her to marry her right in the middle of a chaos.

Maggie stayed quiet and nods at Alex.

"Go on"

"Maggie, I was a cheat and I regret that. I mean, I was so stupid to let go of someone like you, I did a bad thing and nothing's gonna change the fact that I left you, over and over without having to explain my side. Without offering or giving something up for you" Alex wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at Maggie, her lips quivering.

"And yet here I am again, asking for your forgiveness. That may be, maybe one day we will be okay again. We will go back to the way we used to be. We will live happily, honestly, and faithfully"

"I...really am sorry for scaring you and leaving you that way. I am sorry for everything bad I've done and I am sorry that I made you feel that way"

Maggie hugged Alex and they continued crying and sobbing into each other's arms.

"I wanna be with you, Maggie. Please take me back" Alex pleaded while Maggie caressed her back, trying to comfort and shush down Alex's cries, "Because after all these years, no matter how far I go, no matter what happens, it will always be you and only you"

"I will always find my way home back to you"

Maggie cupped Alex's cheeks and kissed her forehead. Ignoring the stream of tears running down their eyes. Her kissed lingered for a while and now they're forehead to forehead. Feeling their hearts so overwhelmed at the situation.

"I know, Alex. I know"

And deep down they both know, it's gonna take a long time but they are willing to take it.


End file.
